ArShi SS: Paper Planes

Chapter 8: Oceans Apart

ARNAV

I detest weekends nowadays.

At least during the weekdays I can drive to work and drown myself in sales calls and projects. I can spend hours sitting in front of my computer and pretend like that's all my life is. At least on weekdays, when my line of sight lands at the reception desk during work, I can pretend I don't see her face every time.

The problem is, I'm not so good at pretending.

I guess there hasn't been much of a difference between the weekdays and weekends after all this past month. The days seem to blend together, every minute a constant effort of blocking out the memories of the hours I spent with her, the sensations of the last time she was in front of me. I keep replaying them over and over and over again in my head, and I'd be lying if I said my hand doesn't itch to reach out to my phone and call her.

But why should I call her? And what should I say, if there's nothing left to say?

The woman I'm in love with is engaged and so I should move on, get on with my life.

Except a part of me doesn't believe her words. What I believe in, is the way she used to laugh with me during our chats at lunch break, in a way I've never seen her laugh with her fiancé. I believe in the way she confided in me whenever she felt upset, how we used to joke around and pull pranks on our coworkers like partners in crime.

I believe in the way she touched my hand and quietly asked me to stay, that night in the parking lot. Her tears when I told her I was in love with her.

I believe in the way she shifted close to me and grazed the back of my neck, the way her lips landed on mine like a butterfly gracing a rose. Her silent desperation, her evident desire that mirrored and mingled with my own.

I believe all of it. But not the fact that she's happy with her fiancè, because behind those eyes I saw pangs of regret when she told me that she can't give us a chance. Maybe I should've persisted and urged her to go against her decision, but I didn't want to force her to do anything. I didn't want to sway her choices, no matter how much they broke me.

Then I think back to when I asked her a question for the last time before I left.

"Are you really going to marry him?"

"I- I don't know,"

I held onto that hope for weeks on end. Maybe, just maybe, her hesitation will change her mind and she'll give us a chance. I kept waiting for a call from her or even a single worded text – but it's been more than a month since we last spoke, and that speck of hope is slowly turning into the realization that she must have moved on and decided to marry Roy.

My phone starts to ring just then, but I feel my nerves calm down when I look to see that it's Sumit.

"Arnav! How're you doing man?" Other than my parents and close friends, Sumit is the only coworker I've been in contact with from the Scranton branch. He's called pretty much every week to check up on me, maybe because he knows the reason behind my transfer.

"Hi Sumit, I'm doing okay, how about you?"

"I'm good. Listen, we miss you here at Scranton. Even the boss man Ranveer was saying how good of a salesman we lost. Your position here is still open, why don't you rejoin this branch? I'm sure corporate won't have any issues,"

The thought pains me as I stutter out an answer. "I- I don't know, Sumit. You know why I transferred... I don't think I can work there, six feet way from her, knowing that she's..."