Pretend (Harry Styles) - Book 3

Chapter 59: Good?

32 Weeks Along

-Harry's POV-

My finger hovers over the enter button as I contemplate what I'm doing.

This isn't going to help. Why am I doing this? I shouldn't be doing this. It's only going to make things harder. There's no point.

Except there is.

My finger pushes down, the screen filling up with all the results of what I searched for... @Ava_McCain

The moment my eyes scan over the laptop screen I know this was a terrible idea.

But I can't stop.

I click on her Twitter page, holding my breath. I haven't seen her in five weeks. Haven't spoken to her in five weeks.

Five weeks.

I unfollowed her on Twitter that first week. When I was still living off my anger. She did the same the following day.

Five weeks and I've no clue what has been going on with her. How she is. How our baby is.

I tried. Tried calling her so many times. But was never actually able to make the call.

I was to stubborn. To hurt.

To stupid.

So so stupid.

I narrow my eyes as I look over her page. Her name no longer says Ava Styles.. Just Ava.

I shake my head a bit, not letting myself think about it to much.

Then I see it. Under her name. A saying that used to read something completely different has been replaced with a new one that nearly kills me.

'How unfair, it's just our love'

I chew on the inside of my cheek as I read the words over and over.

They couldn't be more true. There was no other word more appropriate for what we.. for what our love, had been through.

It was all so unfair.

She hadn't posted much in the past several weeks, nor months. Ever since we pretended to break up all she'd receive in response was hate.

There was just a few tweets. Mainly in response to tweets from Poppy or Finn or Freya.

I click on Poppy's name and make my second mistake of the day.

There's pictures. Several of Ava, her belly more swollen then ever. One of her holding up a sonogram picture and smiling.

I click on the picture, letting it take up the entirety of the screen.

"Our little girl is as healthy as can be!" The caption reads.

I feel my lips curl up on their own as my eyes focus on Ava's face. Big brown eyes and white teeth on display as she smiles, proudly holding up the sonogram picture for the camera.

Was she always this gorgeous?

Yes. Of course she was. It's Ava.

And suddenly I realize... She's smiling. She's happy.

Without me.

She's happy without me.

I slam the laptop shut. I can't see that.

I've been miserable. Completely fucking miserable.

And she's happy.

It makes my heart hurt. A sharp burn coming up into my chest.