Pretend (Harry Styles) - Book 3

Chapter 66: Conflicted

36 Weeks Along

-Ava's POV-

I'm conflicted. There's no other way to describe it.

My mind is screaming at me to push him away, but my heart... my heart is somehow managing to drown out any rational thoughts I'm having.

My heart is telling me to stop thinking, stop overanalyzing, and do what I actually want.

So I do the one thing I rarely do.

I listen. I let my emotions take over.

And I kiss him back.

First tentatively, no longer outright fighting against him.

Letting him mold his lips against mine as my hands rest on his chest. Letting a million emotions sweep over me.

Anger, sadness, hurt, regret... I feel so many things all at once. But each and every one of them is vastly out-shadowed by one.

Love.

No matter how much we've fought, no matter how deeply he's hurt me, no one else can or ever will make me as happy as he does. And I will never care as deeply for anyone else. I couldn't.

It's just as he said. It's simple really.

He's in love with me. I'm in love with him. We're both imperfect, we'll both mess up.

But we belong together.

If we didn't, he wouldn't still be here, once again fighting for us. And I wouldn't still be here, never able to quite let go.

It's been that way since I met him. He pulled me in with his horrible jokes and dimpled smile. And I've never been able to shake him.

I've never really wanted to.

Before I even realize it, my arms are around his neck, pulling him closer. My lips no longer hesitant, instead now not able to get enough.

When his tongue sweeps across my bottom lip, I don't deny him, letting him deepen the kiss even more.

Tasting a hint of mint on his tongue and remembering everything I hadn't even allowed myself to even think about.

How fast he makes my heart race. How breathless he leaves me.

How much I love, LOVE, kissing him.

I inwardly curse my pregnancy hormones, finding it incredibly difficult not to just pull him into the first empty room I find and rip his clothes off.

Our lips part with a hushed smacking noise, both of us out of breath and panting.

"Av..." Harry breathes out, his voice sounding even raspier then normal.

His thumb runs across my cheek as he gazes down at me and I feel weak in the knees.

Okay maybe it has nothing to do with my hormones and everything to do with Harry being... well Harry.

"Fuck I've missed you.." He ducks down, pecking my lips. "Love you so much baby."

"I love you." I say quietly as a dimpled smile covers his face.

"Love I'm so so sorry."

"I know you are." I nod, trying to catch my breath. "I'm sorry too."

"Ava.. I didn't mean..."

"I know you didn't." I press my finger against his lips to quiet him. "Everyone says things they don't mean. Life is more then just one mistake right?"