𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓻𝓸𝓴𝓮𝓷 - ᴀ ᴍᴀᴢᴇ ʀᴜɴɴᴇʀ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄ

Chapter Fourteen - Newt

I watch from across the table as Addy rubs Thomas' arm and leans her head on his shoulder. Jealousy pricks in my chest and I have to remind myself that he's her brother. I look back at my food and force some of it down. I don't have much more of an appetite than Tommy, but I know that we've both gotta eat something and we'll just feel worse if we don't.

I gesture with my eyebrows at Tommy's plate and inform him of this. "You gotta eat. Playin' with your food doesn't do ya any good."

He pulls his arm out from Addy's grasp gently to pick up his food and it brings me a strange sense of satisfaction. I try to convince myself that the satisfaction is from Tommy listening to me, but I know I'm kidding myself.

I finish my food and stand up, announcing, "I'd better get back to work."

"Oh, ok." Is that a hint of disappointment in Addy's eye? I want it to be. Gosh, I'm hopeless, aren't I? I shake myself. Working will help beat the thoughts out of my head. Before heading to the Gardens, I head to check on the Med-Jacks and see if they need help.

Alby lies on the bed asleep and it pains me to see him that way. Only a few days ago, it was Ben on the bed and Alby was by my side helping. My stomach turns thinking about how Ben ended up and I turn green when my mind wanders to how he became that way. The thoughts pull away another layer from the bottom of the emotional sink hole I'm trapped inside and I have to step out of the room to keep the tears back. I don't want to cry. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to-

"You alright, Newt?" Clint asks as he returns with Alby's water and soup.

I nod solemnly. Why do I always feel like this? Why am I the only one? Clint furrows his eyebrows. I don't want him to worry so I pull out the well worn mask of happiness and smile to convince him. "Just going to head to the Gardens and help out there unless you need anything here."

The other boy nods but doesn't look entirely convinced. "Alright. We're fine here for now. Thanks."

"Sounds good. Let me know if you need help." I walk away without waiting for a reply so I don't have to keep the facade on for too long. It's exhausting. But hiding only drags me further into the pit of depression.

---

First thing in the morning, I have the duty of fulfilling Tommy's punishment for going into the Maze and escort him to the Slammer. I wish Alby were here to do it. My chest aches in worry for my friend. I don't want him to go crazy again and try to strangle himself or go completely mad like Ben and- no. No, I won't think of that.

"Have fun." I shut the door of the Slammer and pop my head in the barred window to apologize to Tommy. Can't be fun in there but order has got to be maintained.

I leave the other boy to his day of boredom and head once again to the Med-bay. Jeff meets me at the door and takes the question right out of my mouth. "He's doing fine. Clint and I are thinking we'll let him go today. He's just resting until after breakfast, which is what I'm getting right now."

The other boy slips around me and I thank him. If Alby's alright, there's not much left for me to do. I'm sure I can find some sort of work to do. There's always places to help around, speaking of which, Addy still hasn't gotten a Keeper yet. The girl has been avoiding working with the Slicers and found a way to slip around any job since her second day.

"There you are!" I jog to catch up with the brunette when I see her walking towards the Slammer.

Addy turns. "Hey Newt!" Her right thumb starts tracing circles on her other hand when she notices me. I've noticed her doing it before, especially when she's nervous. I wonder if I make her nervous, but can't think of any reason why. "What's up?"