Mattheo Riddle 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘 🩸🔪💚

my body

TW
Drugs, alcohol , sh and body dysmorphia

Context: you and Mattheo have been dating for a month and you've never smoked or drank before and your insecure

______________________________________

I was sitting alone in my dorm at about 10:30 scrolling on my phone. I was supposed to be meeting my friends at a party but look at me, i tried on like 7 dresses and i still look weird so u decided not to go. They probably didn't even notice i wasn't there, a few minutes went by and I finally decided to take this dumb dress off .

I went the bathroom with some swear pants and a baggy shirt in my hand to change into I sat them on the counter and looked at my self, and I noticed everything. My thighs, my legs that were bruised up, my dry hair that can never just look Nice, my chubby face and big forehead. I knew u shouldn't have been doing this but u couldn't stop once I looked in the mirror u just saw everything wrong. Tears began to slide down my face🏄‍♀️ I just kept noticing thing and pointed them out to myself, u started wiping my face to get the tears off then u started rubbing my face harder and harder until it was red. I only stopped because u beard someone enter the room

"Babbbyyy" I heard my boyfriend say I didn't want to answer him but I  knew I had to unless he wouldn't leave.

"Yes" I said but them u heard him walking towards the bathroom he stopped in front of it and tried to open the door, it was locked "I'm changing" u said trying to make it look like it wasn't crying

"Uuuuggghhhhh" he said and the aat on my bed after 4 minutes I came out to see Mattheo laying on my bed

"Why are you here" as soon as u said that he sprung up and gave me a weird look

"I missed you and u couldn't find you at they party" i was sitting next to him  and he had a hand on my thigh

"Oh umm yeah u don't feel good" I said looking down at his hand

"Oh, well i brought you something" he said while taking a bag of weed out of his pocket and picking up a bottle of fire whiskey he smiled at me so I obviously smiled back at him but u was kinda nervous since I've never did any of that before u guess he noticed because he asked me

"What's wrong love?" I looked at him and shook my head  " dont worry I'm not gonna let you do anything stupid" he laughed a little bit and after like 20 minutes we were high as hell and then we took a few shots well he took a few u only took one because it was nasty .
But u did drink More after so that I wouldn't feel how i felt anymore and then he started kissing me it started soft and passionate and it was just on my lipslips then he pulled me on him and it got rougher he left wet kisses on my neck. He wanted this to go further so he started moving my hips back and fourth on him and he tried to take my shirt off but I stopped him

"Mattheo I don't really want to do that right now" I didn't want him to get mad at me since yk he's Mattheo riddle all he does is have sex

"Alright" he said and took me off his lap to lay down he layed down next to me and pulled me on his chest, we were laying down for a few minutes not talking which was Nice and he finally spoke

"You're so pretty y/n" he said and hugged me closer I smiled at the words but he kept talking

"My pretty little y/n" he said that about 10 times and every time he did he have me a kiss on my head, I don't know but I felt like crying when he said that

"My pretty girl" was the last thing he said until he fell asleep I looked up at him and kissed his lips and then we fell asleep

___________________★_________________
______________________________________

I didn't know how to end it I was just writing anyways

If there's a "u" in some places it's supposed to be a "I" but my phone's being weird