Welcome Home

Trust Me

They drew up outside the house in silence.  They hadn't spoken a word all the way home, but strangely, till this point, neither felt there had been any need.

Now, with the engine off, a blanket of silence smothered them. Exchanging almost tentative smiles, they got out. Tom trotted round to open her door and helped her.  Normally, she would have made some quip about not being a delicate little flower, but today? That's exactly how she felt. Tom's care and attention did nothing other than to make her feel every inch like she was safe and nothing could harm her. He couldn't always be there, though could he.

A couple of minutes later, they were in the kitchen, Tom doing the ultimately British thing of making tea in times of stress, Mia sitting at the table watching him.  He crossed the kitchen and placed a mug in front of her and a plate of her favourite chocolate Hobnobs.  As she looked up at him, he winked and said, "Nothing can happen that isn't made better by a chocolate Hobnob, eh love?"

"Mhmmm, although two are even better!" She giggled despite herself. Tom sat down facing her, his knees slotted around hers, one hand on the table, the other on the back of the chair. Open, inviting her to snuggle in if she wanted. She almost did.  Almost.

"The thing is," she took a breath, making Tom feel like he was about to faint "the thing is I  - I - oh Jesus Tom, I dont know how to say this delicately " she shook her head and ran a hand over her face.  Tom gently took her hand and leaned forward, his face mere inches away.

"Then don't, don't be delicate. Just say whatever comes into your head. There's nothing you can say that will make me love you any less, my darling girl, I promise."  He rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. "I love you, Mia, please, just trust me."

And there it was, that word again.  Trust. She should have it tattooed on her heart.

Taking a breath, she started to speak.  Words tumbled out, words like 'damaged' 'soiled' 'scared' 'unworthy' 'foolish'  'love' 'desperate' and 'millstone' .  At last, face awash with tears she said "I think I need to get away from here, just for a little while."

She looked at him, like a rabbit in headlights, dazed and confused.  Tom held his breath, surely she didn't want to leave him too? Not his darling girl? Had he really failed her that much. His heart - and his eyes - filled with tears. Mia saw his distress and a tiny part, a very tiny part, was glad. It meant she was right.
"Tom, please, don't get upset. There's no need." She reached up and wiped his tears with her sleeve."I wondered, maybe, would, would it be ok to come with you? Spend time with you on location like you suggested? I dont want to be seen as a scrounger, be 'that woman' riding on your coat tails Tom. I may be messed up right now, but I have my dignity."

For a minute, Tom just looked at her, his mind unable to grasp the magnitude of the pain she was obviously strong enough to endure.  How could someone so small and seemingly delicate and compassionate and genuinely good begin to carry that kind of burden. She was truly amazing. It made him even more determined.

"Darling, you can have, do, say, whatever you would like. Anything so that you realise that I will NEVER leave you, judge you, abandon you, or make you feel anything less than the absolute STAR that you are to me." He reached forward and pulled her to him.

From deep within his arms, he heard a little sob and instantly pulled back. "Darling, I once said to you no more tears, so please darling, don't cry.  Everything is going to be ok, I promise." He looked down at her," I promise." She smiled and sniffed. Her eyes almost back to their beautiful sparkling selves.

"You do?"

"I do," he said earnestly, and just for a split second, the echo of something else went round in his head. Something, he realised, he wanted more than anything. Something that would have to wait just a little longer.

The way Tom had said it and the look in his eyes gave Mia a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. Was there even more to the way Tom felt about her than she had realised?

"You can say no darling, and I promise I will understand, but " he paused and smiled. "I think you and I should have a night out. To ourselves. Somewhere quiet and safe. There's a small place I know, not far from my childhood village.  It's cosy and sweet, and we can be anonymous, and we can forget everything for 24 hours." He smiled down at her, mentally crossing his fingers.

Without hesitation, Mia smiled and nodded. "That would be lovely. There's just one problem." She looked at him steadily, and he felt a knot of panic rising. "What do we do with Bobby and 24 hours just isn't enough!"

Tom laughed with relief and joy mixed together. "Well, we can take him with us if you'd like. 24? Sorry, maybe you misheard!" He winked."I'm sure I said 48 hours !"

"In that case," she kissed his cheek, "in that case, what are we waiting for!" She looked more relaxed than he had seen in weeks. Finally, he felt they had turned a small corner.  He just needed to keep her on track.

"You go and pack love, I'll make a couple of calls, ok?" He pulled her up to stand and into his arms. He kissed her tenderly, his lips like warm velvet, his arms like the living embodiment of safe. She melted into him, craving his touch.

"I love you, Tom. More than I have ever loved anyone. More than I ever will again."

"And I you Little One, and I you.  Now go and pack, we have an adventure to be getting on with."

After she was gone, he sat down and grabbed his phone.  Now for part two. Dialling a number in his contact list, he waited.

"Hi! Yes. It's me, Tom. Yes, I know. Too long, I'm so sorry. Forgive the late notice but room for two for a couple of days? From tonight?" He sat back, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yes, and the little brown tornado!"

He laughed. "Great, see you later on. Thanks, Mum."