Anastasia had never had an easy life. Living with an abusive step father and an even worse mother, Anastasia had accepted the fact that her life would not be getting any better. But their sudden death has given Anastasia hope, hope that she would in...
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The room had been covered in complete silence for the past five minutes. I sat on my bed while my father sat on the chair previously occupied by Kai. Every so often he'd take a deep breath and look up as though he was about to say something, but just as fast he would shake his head and look back down.
This happened three times and by then I had lost my patience. "What?" I asked, my father jumped a little before he looked at me. "I- uh. I just wanted to know-." "Why? How?" I cut him off. His baffled babbling was really setting me off.
"Because I can tell you, I can describe everything in detail if you'd like." I say as I see him squirm. "No, no stop okay. I don't want to hear any of that." He finally snaps. And I lean my body back onto my bed. "Then out with it okay? I'm tired of seeing you squirm like a little baby."
"For fuck's sake. What have I done, Anastasia? What have I done to make you hate me this much? I'm trying okay, I'm really trying but I feel like I'm playing a losing game here. Please, Anastasia I want to be a father to you. A good one really, and I want to put in the effort but I just don't know how."
I stare at the man in front of me. Donatello De Niro, a man who not only claimed to be my father but wanted to be one. I don't think Maria ever wanted to be my mother. "I want you to be my father too." I say and see a hint of a smile starting to creep up on his face.
"But I also wanted it when I six." and see the smile slowly start to fade away. "I wanted you, when I felt alone. When I had no answer as to where or who my father was. I wanted you there when she brought home those piece of shit boyfriends."
"And you sometimes, sometimes, I was so fucking desperate for answers, that wanted you to be dead." the expression on his face made his shock quite clear. "I just wanted to be able to believe something better than you just not being there. If you were dead then at least I could pretend to believe that you wanted me, that you loved me but you just couldn't be in my life. That the real villain was the fucking universe."
I finally put my head in my hands as I try to control the sob that was trying to claw its way up my throat.
"You're right." I look up to see him looking at me with a straight face. "What?" I ask. "You're right. I wasn't there when you needed me. And I can give you reasons or excuses but nothing can make up for the years I wasn't there. You have every right to hate me. And it's about time I stop trying to just convince you look at me as your dad. Not until I actually do something."
I don't move. I don't think I could have moved. Was he really accepting it all. Was he actually saying all of this stuff. "You don't have to love us. You don't have to do anything. You just have to be you, do whatever the fuck normal teenagers do. And I...I'm just gonna try and be your dad. Maybe one day, I won't seem so bad."
He didn't wait around for my answer, he stood up and was about to make his way towards the door, I didn't really think before I just grabbed his hand. I had to say something, I don't know but I knew I couldn't end this conversation without saying anything.
