Her Chosen Mate

Part 44

(POV - Marcus)

Watching Jaden drive away with Aria in the passenger seat rooted Marcus to the gravel of the driveway. For too long, his body refused to move, almost as if it was forcing him to face the consequences of his poor decisions.

He was so torn, he had no idea where to even begin to sort through the messy brambles of conflicting emotions. On one hand, he yearned to go after her, to hold her against him and breathe her in until he knew nothing else but her.

One the other hand, the part of his soul that clung to Helena urged him to let Aria go, and be rid of her so he could continue living his life of self-imposed solitude. It was what he deserved for losing his mate, for not being there when she needed him most, when their son needed him most.

He had spent the last five years enduring the crippling guilt and grief, and for a brief, shining moment, when Aria had stepped into his life, the guilt and the grief retreated. And he saw what his life might be with Aria at his side instead of the baggage he insisted on carrying with him everywhere he went.

But he didn't know if he was allowed to chase that small kernel of hope, that tiny glimmer of happiness that Aria had gifted him in their short time together

He didn't want to think about what Helena might have said, because he would only fall further into the pit of all-consuming guilt that would steer him towards another stupid decision like the one that led him to living with a wild wolf pack for over a year.

He couldn't abandon his pack again, and he couldn't hurt his friends that way again, either. He frowned, the frustration building the longer he was at war with himself.

What was the right decision? Should he stay true to his dead mate and honor her memory by serving his time in isolation? Or was he stupid for letting go for the first person who had made him laugh in years all because he was afraid of the brand new feelings burgeoning in his chest?

He couldn't even compare how either of them had made him feel.

Helena had been his true mate, the one wolf created to live alongside his own, their existence blessed by the moon. He'd been drawn to her from a deep, primal place that he had no control over. Even the things she did that drove him insane, like the way she squeezed toothpaste from the middle of the tube instead of the end, couldn't get in the way of the soul-deep bond they shared. Helena had been reserved, proper compared to her wilder peers, who had spent their childhoods tormenting the local fae people and conspiring to prank the nearest coven of vampires

Helena had removed herself from their games, seeing herself above that behavior. Anyone else would have thought she was pretentious, but Marcus knew it was because she was shy and gentle. And she hated causing trouble for others.

Aria wasn't much different, but she stood up for herself and made sure she took care of the people she loved no matter what might happen to her. She'd told him countless stories about the books she'd read and the places they'd taken her, and he'd been mesmerized by every single word she spoke. She strung words together like pearls on a necklace, delicate and precise, but with such passion that he found himself falling into the worlds she described to him.

And she constantly surprised him with her little quirks. Like the way she spouted little facts that no one else could possibly know, and the way she'd dance in her seat while she ate, a clear sign she was happy. He'd found himself paying more attention to the little scrunch of her nose when she told a joke, or the soft hums against his neck while she slept beside him.

And he couldn't stop thinking about how easy it was to be around her, no matter what was going on, his wolf felt at ease as long as she was there.

He'd noticed that night at the banquet when Aiden had hurt her and Marcus had somehow refrained from tearing his insides out and putting them on display for the rest of the pack. He realized later that he'd been able to stay so calm because he was focused on Aria and her wellbeing. It had happened again after that night, when he'd returned from patrol, the muscles in his shoulders and neck knotted with tension. His tension had ebbed the minute he'd slipped into his room and smelled her scent on almost everything. He'd climbed into bed and pulled her to his chest, feeling the rest of his stress dissolve when she hummed happily and snuggled closer in her sleep.