you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

chapter fifty

Maggie's Pov:
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"I can't believe they're just letting that jackass walk free on bail!" Tina harshly ran her fingers through her hair.

I was still pretty shaken up from what happened, I was pressed up against Julien, sitting as close to her as possible. Why didn't I fight back? I could've done more. I'm pathetic.

"Maggie, how do you feel about moving to Tennessee?" Chloé asked, causing me to snap out of my trance.

"I don't wanna leave you guys, but it might be for the best. It would be safer, he's out on bail and can't get near me but he knows people. Who's to say one of them won't track me down?" My voice was quiet, Julien placed her hand on my leg.

"You're very organized, most of your things are already in bins. We could probably get your stuff packed up quickly," Tina spoke as she opened her phone, getting on the phone with her brother for help.

"I don't need any of my furniture, she has a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and a few desks. I still have unpacked bins of shit from my parent's house, that's where you guys found my old dance crowns," I stood up and went into my room to start packing.

"Chloé, if you could gather her things in the bathroom that would be helpful. I'm gonna work with her in her room," I heard my girlfriend ask. I pulled out the unpacked bins in my room while Tina pulled out the ones in the hall closet.

Julien wrapped me up in a hug, I buried my face into her neck. "You smell like smoke," I mumbled.

She chuckled, "Sorry, I went out on the balcony for a smoke shortly after you left."

"You don't have to apologize, it's comforting to me now," I pressed a kiss into her neck, then pulled away.

"Chloé is gathering your bathroom stuff and Tina is cleaning out the closet. We can pack everything up in here and then try to get everything in your car," Julien caught me up to speed with our plan, and we both started packing.

I took down everything from my walls, while Julien gathered my clothes. I carefully set the thumbtacks on my nightstand as my walls became bare.

"It'll be weird but I'm not totally sad I'm leaving, I've been thinking about leaving NC for a while now," I shrugged. I was trying to forget about what went down earlier.

"That's a good way to think about it," Julien started to walk over to my closet. Oh, shit. The rings.

"Hey, love! Can you make sure Chloé gets everything from the bathroom?" I asked, stopping her from making it anywhere near the closet.

"Yeah, of course! I'll bring this bin to the bathroom and fill it up," she gave me a strange look before leaving my room.

I quickly found the rings and shoved them into a backpack with my laptop in it. It's gonna be significantly harder to hide those now that I'll actually be living with my girl.

Tina went to the store to pick up a few more bins while the rest of us packed up what we could.

It truly didn't take very long for us to pack everything, two and a half hours went by and my room was completely packed up.
None of us got much sleep that night, it all kinda caught up to me. My grip on Julien tightened, we were both lying on our sides with my head placed on her chest.

"Honey, are you okay?" Julien's groggy voice asked. She ran her hands through my hair, using her fingers to separate little tangles.

I felt so small, "I'm scared." I felt like a little kid. Was it silly to feel like this? Should I just man up and quit being a baby?

"You're safe, nothing can happen to you," she whispered. Midnight must've had the late-night zoomies because a loud crash came from the kitchen, the sudden noise caused me to jump back and out of the covers, and a small yelp fell from my lips.

My hands gripped the sheets as I started hyperventilating, my eyes darting all throughout the dark room. "Hey, hey, hey, he's not here. He can't get you, you're safe." Julien sat up, she put her hands out in the air. "Can I touch you?"

I slowly nodded, my grip on the sheets loosened as she pulled me into a hug. "Maggie, we're leaving later, he can't get you. I'll protect you with my life."

"Am I being childish?"

"No, not at all! You went through years of abuse and traumatic experiences and it's completely valid to react the way you are. Get those thoughts out of your mind because you aren't being childish, you're being human."

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a/n: Just as a reminder that my new posting schedule will be Mondays and Fridays. I've been in a bit of a slump this week so I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like.

-A