you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

chapter sixty-one

Maggie's Pov,
Suggestive:
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Beans had passed out on the couch in the laundry room/Julien's music room. It was later in the afternoon and I had placed everything Julien was gonna need for the tour by the front door. Every instrument, every outfit, things she probably won't even need, I made sure she had everything.

Someone came from their team and picked up her instruments, two of her suitcases, and her pedalboards to get brought to California.

I walked back into our room, she was staring at the wall, gazing at the collage I made of memories. My mind was racing, she looked so pretty, goodness why am I feeling like this?

I silently watched her, my anxiety growing. I swallowed hard, then cleared my throat, gaining her attention. "I think i'm ready."

"Ready? Ready for what?" she asked, I closed the door, entering deeper into the room. I bit my lip, why was I so nervous?

Maybe, it was because this was the first time I actually wanted this to happen. Did I even know how this works? "I think I'm ready to have- um. I'm ready to have sex."

"You are?" Julien smiled, she met me in the middle of the room. "Are you sure? I don't want you to rush into anything you don't want to do."

"I'm sure, I've thought about it and I'm ready. I need you, Julien," I begged, my eyes looked down at her, they were wide with desperation.

She grabbed me by the hips and kissed my lips. Her hands were firm, our kiss was rough. Julien broke the kiss to tug off her shirt, then mine.

"What do we say if it becomes too much and you wanna stop?" she asked, walking me closer to the bed.

"Red?" I asked, unsure if that was the right answer.

"Red, that's right. Good girl," Julien smirked, pushing me back onto the bed. She climbed on top of me and continued our makeout session, kisses trailed down to my neck.

I tried to hold back my moans, Brady never liked them, always said that it was gross. It was never really pleasurable with him. However, all the time I've ever had sex, I've never truly wanted it. It never really felt good while it was happening.

Julien's moans were muffled by my neck, should I be vocal? I've been vocal just by myself but ever since Brady I've stopped.

My girlfriend pulled away from my neck, "I'm sorry, I have to ask, are you feeling good? I know we've just started but you haven't shown any type of indication that you're feeling good."

I swear sometimes she can read my mind, "You wanna hear me? I've always been told it's annoying."

"Honey, that's far from the truth. Please be vocal, I wanna hear your pretty moans," she almost begged. She parted my legs with her knee, placing it right by where I wanted her to touch me most.

"Please, Julien," I moaned, weakly thrusting my hips forward to try and find even a little bit of friction.

"Good girl," Julien purred, kissing me again. It was gonna be a long night.

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a/n: THEY DID IT.

15 chapters are left, plus the two epilogues. Unfortunately, I had plans to write a sequel, it has 19 chapters written but it won't be ready in time. I've been trying very hard to find time to write while also going to school full time but it's been almost impossible.

I've been thinking about taking the plot of the story, throwing it out of the window, and making it a short story to go at the end of this book. What do you think about that?

-A