Jasper (Devil's Ranyne MC Book 3)

chapter 10

Addie

I'm pacing my new room in mavs house. What the fuck was I thinking coming here. I should have told him no, I should have to him to go fuck himself.

He thinks he did was was best for me all those years ago. He didn't. He broke my heart. I have never gotten over the heart break that jay inflicted on me. He wasn't just my boyfriend or the father of my child, he was my best friend. He was one of the very few people in the world I trusted, loved, and respected.

"Peach, food!" I hear Jay calling from downstairs.

I take a deep breath composing myself before leaving my Hopefully temporary room. Jay can't honestly expect Mav and I to just take over his home and live on the clubs property forever.

I made a plan in my head on the trip here. I looked up the little town we were headed to and found a hotel a couple towns over that is hiring a manager. While jay drove I applied.

I'll get a job, then find mav and I our own place. I have enough money that I managed to save for the security deposit and first month's rent. I need more to completely start over. We will need beds, dressers, couches, tables, hell even dishes. We weren't even able to bring all of our clothes.

I know that jay was serious when he said he owes me. I was also serious when I said I wouldn't be collecting. I have taken care of myself and mav for fifteen years, I refuse to depend on someone else to do it now.

When I make it downstairs i see my son and jay sitting at a table that is full of take away boxes. Jay stands and pulls out a chair for me. I hesitantly take the seat he has chosen right next to him. He reaches over my shoulder and grabs a box placing it infront of me before opening the lid. "Chicken enchiladas" I can hear the smile in his voice.

Damn this man even after all this time he knows the way to my good side. "Thank you." I nod.

"Eat up peach." He says placing a fork next to the box before taking his seat. "So mav, we can get you enrolled in school next week. I talked to prez his kids all attend the private school in town."

"Private school" mav crunches his nose.

"Yeah, there was an incident at the local public school. The principle didn't take the sexual harassment of prez's step, sons girlfriend seriously. Eli is a year older than you. Prez and his wife, peyton, are also the legal guardian of locklynn, elis girlfriend, she's a year older than you too. Then there's Ari, she's prez's biolgical daughter, she's almost fifteen. They also have an adopted daughter ellie, she's not even a year yet. Anyway peyton made it a rule, and prez made it official, that any child of this club attends the private school. Peyton insisted on paying for all tuition too."

"I'm sure that's expensive." I say. "That's not necessary, really."

"It is, peytons loaded. She won't take no for an answer." He shrugs, shoveling food into his mouth.

I drop the subject for now, but I remind myself to circle back to it. This conversation is not over. Just like I won't take money from jay, I won't be taking money or tuition payments from his club either.

"Are those the only kids here?" Mav asks.

Jay shakes his head. "Prez' kids don't live on the property, but seb lives here. He is around your age. He's prospecting. Basically, he's on a trial period. He's been living here since he was twelve prez and found him living in the streets. He's a good kid. I think yall will get along."

"Does he go to the private school too?"

"No, he's not in school anymore,"

"He dropped out?" It's my turn to ask.

"Technically, yes, but he has his GED," he answers.

It's not really ideal, but at least it's something I suppose. I get it, though. jay said the poor kid was living on the streets.

"So what is it you do?" Mav asks jay, and I'm all ears. I would like to know that same thing.

"I run the gym mainly. I help out at the bar and shop when I need to as well. The club owns several businesses. We all have jobs at them."

"That's pretty cool, an I aloud to use the gym?"

"Yeah, of course, whenever you want."

"Can we go to the club house?" Mav asks intrigued by this new life he has been thrust into.

"Sure, we can stop by after dinner if your mom says it's okay."

"He's your son too, jay. You don't have to ask permission. He's also not a baby he's old enough to make his own decisions. If you want to take him up there, you can."

"You're coming too, peach."

"Not tonight." I shake my head. I need time to process everything. The days we spent traveling, I kept my mind occupied. Now that we are actually here, everything is hitting me. What I want to do is lock myself in my room and cry. Cry for the seventeen year old girl who waited for a boy to come back who never did. I want to cry for the eighteen year old girl, who dropped out of college to work more to be able to provide for a baby all on her own. I wanted to cry for the woman I was for the last few years who fell low enough to allow a man to put his hand on her.

I want to cry for the woman I am today, a woman who left with a man who destroyed her heart. A woman who knows that no matter how much she tries to fight, it knows that the love she felt for that man all those years ago never went away. I want to cry because I know that no matter how much I fight it, I will always love Jasper. I want to cry because I know it doesn't matter. I know no matter how much I love him, it will never be.

I believe we are all given one soul mate. I have no doubt in my mind that jay is mine. I also believe that sometimes, two souls meant to be together can't always find their way to each other. There could be all the love in the world, but without trust, communication, and loyalty, there is nothing. When jay left me, he took all those things and shattered them. I don't think we can ever put all of those peices back together.