Jasper (Devil's Ranyne MC Book 3)

chapter 12

Addie

Im laying I'm bed trying to get my thoughts and feelings together when I hear the front door slam. My heart instantly jumps in my chest.

My mind starts to spiral. Mav and jay left no more than ten minutes ago, and someone is in the house. I reach for my phone on the nightstand and call the first person I can think of.

"Peach?" Jay sounds hesitant.

"There's someone here." I say in a whisper.

"Sweetheart, it's okay. It's mav."

I breathed out a sigh of relief before asking, "I thought you were taking him to the club house?"

"I was... ummm. Can I come over so we can talk?"

"What happened, jay?" My panic begins to rise again at the thought of something happening to my son.

"Peach, calm down. Maverick is okay."

"Damn it. Jasper. Just tell me what happened."

"I'm coming over." He cuts the line before I can put up farther protest.

I get out of bed, pulling on my robe over my tank top and sleep shorts. When I get downstairs, mav is sitting on the couch texting on his phone. "Hey, kiddo. What's wrong?" I ask him, noting the irritated look on his face.

"Don't wanna talk about it, mom." He huff.

"What did he do?" I sigh, sitting next to him. All I get in return is a shrug. I let out another long breath before speaking. "Mav, he's trying. Him leaving had nothing to do with you. He's trying with you. He wants to build a relationship with you."

"I know that mom, but he also wants to build one with you. Maybe he's not the guy you loved all those years ago anymore. Maybe I misjudged him."

I can't help the confused look that crosses my face. "You know you can talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"I told him that this was fate, that maybe he is good enough for you now. I think I was wrong, mom."

I suck in a sharp breath. "Honey, sometimes things don't work out for a reason, and that's okay. We were just kids, mav, not much older than you. People make mistakes. He's trying with you. He wants to get to know you, kiddo. He's your dad. He loves you. I wish more than anything that he was there for you from the beginning. I know jay would have been an amazing dad to you. It's okay to forgive him, mav. Just because there is no him and I doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship with him. It's not going to make me upset. I want you to get to know him."

"Mom, I thought he loved you."

"He did," I give him a sad smile. "Mav, can you please tell me what happened?" Just as I ask, there's a knock at the door.

Mav and I both stand. My son pulls me into his arms and kisses the top of my head. "He can tell you. I love you, mom."

I wrap my arms around my son, "I love you too."

He releases me and heads for the stairs as I make my way to the door. When I open jay standing there, the look of sadness and regret plays in his features. "Hey, peach."

"Hey,"

"Can I come in?"

"It's your house, jay."

"No, it's yours. If you don't want me to come in, I won't."

"Come in." I sigh.

We make our way to the same spot mav and I were sitting. "I'm sorry, addie."

"What happened, jay?"

I brace myself for the answer when he speaks. "You know I never stopped loving addi, right?" I shrug. I know I haven't ever stopped loving him, but I don't know jay anymore. People can change allot in fifteen years. "Peach, you stole my heart when we were kids, and I never got it back, I never wanted it back. It is yours to keep forever and always."

"Jay, just tell me why our son is so upset, please."

He rests his elbows on his knees, bringing his hands to his head and pulling on his hair. "Fuck, I'm so sorry peach. I have been with other woman addie."

Confusion washes over me. "Yes, jay and I have been with other men. It's been over fifteen years jay, I never thought you hadn't been with anyone else."

"I know you're not familiar with how things work in a club, but there are woman here. We call them club girls, they're basically there to take care of all the members... needs. Anyway I didn't think about it when I took mav there. One of the girls threw herself at me."

"Ohh, I see." I say just above a whisper. "so," I clear my throat. "The woman you have slept with all live at the club house with you?" I try to keep the resentment out of my voice. I have no right to judge I was sharing a house with another man. Just because I left that situation doesn't mean he should have to leave the ine he's in.

He has been here for over a decade. He obviously enjoys it. "Yeah," he nods his head with his eyes still averted, which I'm greatful for. I don't want gim to see how much his admission is bothering me. It shouldn't jay hasn't been mine in a long time.

I'm quiet for a moment before I speak again. "Im not going to say I'm happy that mav had a front row seat to that. I'm his head there still hope for us, no matter how many times I tell him otherwise." Those words burn my throat as I speak them. "I understand jay. I'll try to talk to mav again."

"Peach, look at me." Jay's voice cracks.

When I move my eyes away from my feet to meet his gaze, I see nothing but hurt and regret. "Hmm?"

"They meant nothing, there's only one woman who has ever meant anything. You peach you're the inky woman I have ever made love to. You're the only woman i have ever taken on a date, bought flowers for. You're the only woman I would die for. You're it baby, you're my best friend, the mother of any child I will ever have, you're the best part of me addie. Please don't say we don't have a chance. I'd give this all up for you." He waves his hand through the air.

"You didn't though, jay." I feel the tears stinging my eyes. "You could have came back for me. You chose not to. This is the life you chose, over me. That's okay, I accepted it a long tome ago. I may not have known where you went for what you were doing, but I knew you chose that over me. Just because I'm here now doesn't mean you have to feel obligated to change your life."

"It's not obligation, Addie. It's love, pure, all consuming love. I broke my own heart all those years ago thinking I wasn't good enough for you. I have broken my heart every single day since convincing myself you are better off without me. I still dont think I'm good enough for you, I don't think anyone in the world is good enough for you, Peach, but I'm going to show you every single day that I'm trying."

I'm biting my lip so hard. I feel like I'm about to break skin trying to control my emotions, but it's not use. I fling myself at jay wrapping my arms around his neck. His shock is evident by his delayed reaction to wrap his arms around me. The moment I'm wrapped in his arms I feel like I'm home for the first time in sixteen years. I bury my face in the side of his neck. "I'm so mad at you, jay." I cry.

"I know, baby," he whispers with one hand smoothing my hair as he speaks. "I'm mad at me too."

"I don't know if I can forgive you," I hiccup.

"I don't know if I'll ever deserve your forgiveness." He admits, which makes me cry harder, and his hold on me grows tighter.