Darkest Before Dawn

Chapter 14

I screamed until my voice went hoarse, what the fuck was wrong with me?! Losing my cool, showing the fucking wolves this was bothering me, and wait fuck this was bothering me. Legitimately bothering me. I was still angry, I still wanted to strangle her until her smirk faded from her face, and I...I was hurt. I was so fucking devastated he didn't shove her off.

I plopped down in the clearing I was in and hugged my knees to my chest. They were all fucking right, me letting this jealousy sit had not been a cure, but a strong root for my disease. There was a fairly painful yet dull ache settling into my abdomen and I wondered briefly if it was some kind of permanent organ damage. Then I cried, there was nothing else to do now. I cried for my life I would never have, I cried for all the physical and mental pain I had endured, and I cried because he didn't want me anymore after all that, he wanted her. Of course he wanted her, she was like him, and I was just human. I clawed through my mind trying to find the anger, the hatred, anything to cling to to push how I was feeling away. All I kept pulling from my mind was the conversation with Ace that last night at the campground.

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"How can you choose the wrong mate?" Ace seemed utterly confused.

"We just have to guess. We don't have a bond or anything to tell us someone is our other half, we just guess and hope it works."

"Do you choose wrong a lot?"

"Me personally, no," Cora replied, "But a lot of us do."

"Then why be so upset when your soulmate shows up and wants you, guaranteed?" Ace cut in.
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Why was this so bad? I was having trouble remembering. I was allowed to see all my friends and family, and I had someone who was so devoted to me they would die for me. Why didn't I want him? Why did I want to date a hundred losers and hope one is my soulmate probably to just be disappointed? I wasn't even cut out for a world where Tinder is how everyone dates and you hope the person who's picture you swiped on is the person who shows up. So why did I adamantly oppose this other option?

Rational me finally found her voice reminding me about the lies, kidnapping, and forced marking. I was relieved to have that part of my brain back but also a bit nauseous by how little it effected how I was feeling. I tried to tell myself to stop being weak, just one more night, and the traitorous feelings would be gone. However the feeling of wanting Dax no longer felt like it was the offending emotion.

So I screamed again and then cried some more. It felt like I was in that clearing for hours, fighting with myself, fighting about what to do. When I finally got up and made my way back to the packhouse it was already dark. I quietly entered and went to the kitchen to get some water, my throat felt like it was on fire.

"Glad to see you found your own way back, much longer and I was gonna have to go looking for you."

Ace sat at the island eyeing me as I entered. I simply nodded, the fact Draven hadn't sent anyone immediately after me and had not waited around for me furthering how disheartened I felt. I realized the beta wolf once again looked uneasy.

"Just spit it out Ace," I sighed grabbing a water from the fridge and plopping onto the stool next to his.

He scratched the back of his neck, "Draven has lost it."

I locked eyes with him, "What do you mean he's lost it?"

Ace took a deep breath, "Draven took Leila to bed."

He wouldn't meet my eyes and I let the information sink in. He couldn't even wait until we were officially unbonded to bed her. I think I felt my heart shatter. And despite the state of my throat I screamed again, wrapping my arms around myself I felt the sobs begin to come. Ace was hugging me within seconds of me opening my mouth.

"It's okay Dawn let it out."

That's all he said before he picked me up and carried me into the living room. By the time he set me down everyone who had heard me had gathered in the foyer.

"I'll be right back," he hugged me before exiting the room.

I continued to cry, the sound blocking out any chance of me hearing the conversations in the foyer.

Draven's POV

I put some pajama pants on and raced down the stairs at the sound of Dawn's anguished scream. I was met in the foyer by Ace and flanked by Leila, Kain, Trish, Luke, Lex, and Kyra. Ace looked livid and Kain intercepted him before he was in my face as I searched for Dawn.

"Ace what's going on?" Kain asked obviously trying to focus my enraged beta's attention elsewhere.

"Dawn came back, you can ask him," then Ace narrowed his darkening eyes and spit out his next words, "And that gutter slut, why Dawn is in such distress."

I had never heard such malice from my beta or his wolf before. He turned on a heel and went back to the darkened living room. My hearing focused and I could hear Dawn's sobs coming from in there as well. I made to follow him but Kain pulled me back.

"What happened?" Kain asked calmly not releasing my arm.

"He slept with his Luna what is the big deal? Just because she didn't-"

All eyes present widened as the she wolf was cut off by a smack across her face from Trish.

"You slept with him!" She roared, "He has mate and you slept with him?!"

Leila held her face cowering slightly, "He wanted to! He practically drug me upstairs!"

Trish's tone dropped and became rather dangerous, "You are not his Luna, and you were told exactly what was going on and you agreed. You were not to actually damage or even infringe upon the mate bond in anyway!"

Then she rounded on me as Leila hid behind my form, "And you! What in the fucking Goddess is wrong with you!"

"Watch yourself Trish," I growled out, not appreciating the tone she used with me.

"I will not, do you hear what you have done? I can hear her sobbing even beyond all the commotion out here. You may have irreversibly fucked this up. Force marking is one thing, but to go and have sex with another? I wouldn't blame her if she never forgave you."

"She didn't want me. She has been here for weeks and was willing to die rather than be with me. I am an Alpha wolf why should I ever deprive myself of company especially when my mate refuses to provide it," I dug my heels in glaring at the woman.

"Fine Draven, do whatever you wish, but let me tell you a little secret. The ritual is real, tomorrow night we will ask the Goddess to bless your chosen union, and you will feel your one sided bond break and lose your true mate forever. She deserves to be free of a mate like you."

I snarled at her, "What are you talking about woman? This was all a rouse."

Kain stepped in, "You need to calm down Draven, that is still my mate you are snarling at."

I eyed the other Alpha and took a deep breath.

"I told you about this because I knew the jealousy would work. Well it did for me. But also to save Dawn's life if it didn't. The ritual is real, though it's not common knowledge, it works others have done it. Wolves who have force marked and come to their senses mostly while their mates withered. It is always at the discretion of the Goddess, though I feel in this situation she would take some pity on poor Dawn."

A weight settled in my gut. This is not what I wanted, once I marked Dawn she was mine forever, no matter what I did or what she did, no matter what happened she was mine. Fucking Leila had not seemed like that big of an issue, first Dawn was gone so I did not think anyone would have the balls to tell her, and second she wouldn't feel it like a bonded pair. I just needed something, some release, it wasn't  meant to end my mate bond with Dawn. It was to be something that even if she did find out the bond took care of. I didn't think she had any other choice but to accept me as her mate and until then I was technically still mateless.

Suddenly a sniffle silenced my thoughts and I realized Dawn was standing in the entrance to the living room. Her eyes were puffy and red and she was holding onto Ace's arm like she needed him to even breath and that enraged me.