The day I got into my dream uni was also the day I lost the most precious person in my life, my mom. My mom had been the biggest support system in my life, she was everything I could wish for, I always saw her as the most precious gift God gave me in life.
If it wasn't for the faith and trust in God my mom taught me since I was little, I would have already given up on life long back. Yes, I am a devoted and practicing Muslim, I love my religion as it was the only thing that made me move forward in life even after I lost everything precious to me because this life is temporary and it is a test, a test that was given to mankind as the outcome of the choice we all took, the choice of being human. Yes, that is what I and Muslims all around the world believe, we chose ourselves to be humans with free will but it came with a consequence and that was having to live a life of tests with no memories of making the choice and finding God and worship him, that is the actual test, whether you are Muslim or not every one of us will be tested with a lot of different things in life, sometimes the test can be to see our patience, sometimes it can be to see our behavior... anyways this life is nothing more than a test to humankind.
I lived my life so far with the hope of meeting the family I lost in the afterlife, to meet them happily I will have to live on until it is my time to leave the world. I might seem like a very strong and courageous girl, but no I am very weak inside, suicide has crossed my mind plenty of times, I was really brokenhearted and wanted to just let go of everything and was very close to letting go of everything and killing myself. But I was afraid of death, what if I died and my entire family was in heaven and I went to hell because I didn't try to move on and kill myself? This thought was my courage to move on and live life until I unite with my family in Jannah (Paradise). What gives people courage can vary for different people, my courage to keep going was my faith in God and trust in his plans.
COMING TO THE PRESENT :
Ever since getting to uni, it has been so hectic. Assignments, projects, boring lectures, etc. But it is what it is. Uni was never meant to be like what people show in movies and dramas, it was supposed to be tiring and hectic. Well life Mark Manson says in his book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***' " when we choose a path, we are choosing the struggles ...'
Nothing in life can be achieved if you want everything to go smoothly, only struggles can get you to your goals no matter what easy paths you want to take.
But lately, I have been wishing for something amazing and mind-blowing to happen in my life, I mean it's just a wish. It would be really awesome if I met someone I love, got married and we could grow together as individuals and all. I have always dreamed of having a family but I just have kept that dream on hold because I have certain things to work on myself before getting married and then maybe when the right time comes, In Sha Allah ( If God Almighty wills), I will meet the person who was written for me.
Sometimes I can't help but imagine how I will be meeting the man I will spend the rest of my life with, well I can just imagine and I do know that it is not going to be anything like those romance novels and mangas where we just see a person and it's all flowers and glitters and love at first sight. But a side of me wishes for it to be like that for some reason, although I am fully aware that it won't be like that.
When will I meet him?
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
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ALSO, MY STORIES WOULD OFTEN MENTION GOD AND FAITH, WELL THAT IS WHAT MADE ME WANT TO WRITE STORIES IN THE FIRST PLACE. NOTHING SERIOUS JUST GIVING YOU A HEAD UP FOR IT. ALSO, NONE OF THE PICS INCLUDING THE PICTURE IN THE COVER IS MINE, IT WAS TAKEN FROM PINTEREST CREDITS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS.
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