"I'd let you break my heart a million times until we get it right."
In which; Daphne promised herself to stay away from Caitlin, the girl who broke her heart and left her alone in the middle of the night. She moved across the country just to stay a...
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"But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right, I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't"
caitlin
present; narrative
iowa vs southern nov 7th 2022
Daphne wasn't joking when she said I wouldn't see her around. I didn't see her at practice when we barged in on the cheerleaders, I didn't see her in passing between classes. I didn't even see her at football games. I knew what I said to her, as much as I regretted it now I couldn't take it back. I knew Daphne like the back of my hand, she was good at forgiving people but everything would always linger in the back of her mind. Bad things that others said to her always stayed with her no matter how hard she tried to forget them.
It was the first game of the season against Southern. I always got stressed before games, everyone around me could see it but there was never really anything to do about it. It only got better when I went on the court and started playing, that's what had been working for the past 2 years without Daphne. But now knowing she was here it felt like I didn't know how to calm down at all, she was always the one that helped me.
"Lin, you good?" Monika nudged me, sitting beside me on the bench. It was rare that I took water breaks during practice so now me completely walking off to sit on the bench was completely unnatural. I leaned on Monika, she was like my older sister on the team and I could always tell her any issues I had, no matter what.
"Daphne and I got into a fight." I didn't look at Monika, mostly because I knew she would be confused. Ex's that were't even friends that still managed to get into horrible fights. It just didn't make any sense.
"Ok and what are you going to do about it?" Now I finally turned to her. There was nothing I could do now, I hurt her again. I promised myself I wouldn't do that.
"There's nothing I can do Mon, I said stuff I didn't mean and now I have to stick to it." I shrugged, ignoring the way I felt my heart tug remembered how I lived before Daphne moved back. I was miserable, I thought about her everyday. All I wanted was to fix it, but it didn't happen. I had to get over her, and get over us.
"Why were you mad?" She asked me, a knowing look on her face. Why was I mad at Daphne after the football game? Why did her brother's words affect me much more than I thought they would?
Monika got up, going back to practicing while I sat on the bench. I tried to forget about my fight with Daphne. I always hated fighting with her, another reason why I couldn't break up with her to her face. I knew we would fight and then I wouldn't have let her go. I would've continued to hurt her knowing how much my life would change when I got here. The stuff I said to her replayed in my mind and I felt tortured by it. Every horrible thing I said and wished I could take back.
We went to the locker room while the arena filled up. The minutes were going way too fast, I just sat there silently. Everyone danced around to whatever music was playing or just talked but I couldn't find it in me to do either.
