Smith
I hate when things go perfectly well for a few days. Why? Because out of nowhere, everything around me starts crashing down.
My parents have been getting on my last nerves, and I can't handle it. After we have any sort of discussion, I cry my eyes out afterwards.
I'm tired of the pressure of being perfect for them. I'm tired of constantly living up to their standards. I'm tired of walking on egg shells in my own house. I'm tired of being anxious the second I'm in their presence.
I'm tired of never being good enough for them, no matter how hard I try.
To add onto my family issues, my friends have been acting strange as well. Dayanara has become a sex crazed manic, it seems. The only thing she talks about is Jamal. And sex. And sex with Jamal. That's about it.
I'm used to her being obsessed with him, but I didn't think it'd get this bad. It seems like we can't have a normal conversation anymore like we used to. And it sucks, because I miss her and our friendship more than anything.
Justin and Tate are arguing over after-graduation nonsense. Justin planned on attending college, but now is heavily considering joining the military. When Tate found that out, it caused him to go into a panicked frenzy that he's still struggling to calm down from. Being stuck in the middle of it makes me head spin.
Oh, and of course my eating is still awful. Of course I still can't keep anything down. Of course I'm slowly killing myself and am constantly cold. Of course I'm a miserable mess. Of course I hate myself and my body more and more each day.
On top of all of this jumble of chaos, things have stalled between Diego and I.
For some reason, he hasn't been texting me much lately. When we do talk either at school or work, he seems so...dull and unlike himself. No eye rolls or charming smiles. No flirty remarks or sneaky kisses. No overuse of pets names or silly comments.
Everytime I suggest or hint for us to call, Diego says he's too tired or doesn't answer at all. Many times, I have been on delivered for hours and hours without a reason. Today, he skipped school and didn't give me any sort of warning. I'm still waiting for a text back from this morning, but I doubt I'll get one anytime soon.
It seems like he completely switched on me, and I hate it. I rather us go back to hating each other, because at least he gave me more attention than he has this last week.
On the bright side, I'm spending my weekend with Kylie. I need a break from everything and to just be with the one person I know will give me comfort. I'm tempted to spill everything out to my sister, including things with Diego, but I don't want to dump drama on her.
While Kylie prepares dinner, I decide to call Dayanara about her brother. I can't handle my mind destroying itself any longer without some sort of explanation for Diego's switch.
Dayanara answers the call, but doesn't give me a chance to greet her before talking. "I'm on my way to Jamal's right now, so I can only talk for a minute."
Is she serious? Why can't she pull over for a moment and pay attention to our phone call? When have I ever called her out of the blue if it weren't important? After signing quietly in frustration, I ask, "Do you know what's up with Diego?"
"What do you mean?"
What does she mean do I mean? He's not himself at all, and I know it's not only towards me. At work, he hardly talks to his sister. They haven't jokingly bickered in Spanish or complained about how talkative the other is. "He seems...off."
