Drunken Mistake

Chapter 12 - Xander

"About damn time you made it home," Xander huffs as soon as I walk into our apartment.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I got distracted," I say while taking off my shoes. My nerves are going insane as I think about the conversation that I am going to have to have with him. How do I say this without him going into complete cop mode?
"So, Xander..." I trail off.
"What's up?" He asks while moving about in the kitchen.
"Can we just.... Move to the living room area," I ask as I stare at the knives that he is near. He pauses his movement to turn to give me a good look. It's the look that he gives me; when he is worried about me. I give a faint smile while directing my hands for him to sit. By his movements, I can tell that he understands that this is a serious talk.
"What's wrong Harper?" Xander asks as he takes a seat on our couch. I took a seat as well, I knew damn well that I wasn't going to be able to tell him this while standing.
"There are two things I need to tell you," I start, trying hard to go into this all nice and easy.
"Alright, what are they because you're starting to freak me out," he glares. Well shit, might as well dive into this.
"Well first, I am now dating Lucas," I say while looking down because I knew he wasn't going to be happy.
"You mean that prick who bullied you in High school and at the beginning of this year," he growls. Oh, yeah he is pissed.
"Yeah... we worked things out and found out that we liked each other," I hope this will help mellow him down a bit because this isn't the worst. Xander glares at me, but I can see that his mind is processing the information that I've given him.
"He's not forcing you, right?" Xander asks with an even harsher glare.
"Oh, god no! I promise we both agreed to dating. I am not being forced," I rushed the sentence out because I knew if I sat here to process anything he would think I was lying to him.
"Fine, I can't tell you who you're allowed to date or not," he grumbles. I can tell he still doesn't like it.
"Cool... now comes even bigger news," I say.
"What else could there be Harper...Oh god don't tell me you are moving out to live with him. If you are, I'm sorry, but I am going to have to put my foot down on that," he stood while looking down at me. I kind of laugh because Liz is right. He is more of a big brother than a friend.
"No that's not what I was going to say," I giggle even though what I am going to tell him isn't a laughing matter.
"What is it then?" He asks while taking a seat after his little outburst. I scoot closer to him and grab his hands. When I do this it tells him to not freak out on me. He looks me straight in the eyes with concern. I take a deep breath as this is still fresh information for me and even I am still having a hard time accepting it.
"I'm pregnant," the word still feels foreign to me. I keep eye contact as Xander's facial expressions change before my eyes. First, he was super confused. It was like the news wasn't processing, but when it does it goes from concern to anger in an instant.
"Is he the fucking father," Xander yells, and he back up again.
"Yes," is all I could say as Xander starts pacing in front of me.
"How! When!" He heals again. Xander was not in his right mind right now. I can tell that he isn't only upset with me but with himself for not protecting me.
"Remember the party?" I reminded him.
"Fuck! Harper! He didn't use a fucking condom!" He shouts, his pacing has become a bit more aggressive.
"We were both really drunk," I explained, but by the look Xander gave me. Yeah, there is no room for explaining right now.
"He should have known better," Xander growls.
"Hey, why are you putting all the blame on him?" I glare while putting my hands on my hips. I do this anytime I am arguing with Xander.
"Because you were a virgin! He wasn't," Xander grits his teeth as he glares at me.
"Oh so you're telling me that you never had sex with a girl without a condom," I pointed out knowing damn well that he has.
"That's not fucking fair Harper," he groans because he always hated it when I bring it up.
"Well you seemed to have no problem tearing into me," I knew I had to stand my ground. Xander always forgets to be my friend instead of a caregiver or brother.
"That's a fucking different," he stated.
"How so," I glared.
"I NEVER GOT ANYONE PREGNANT, HARPER!!" He yells. The force of his yell, made me take a step back. Which had landed me back on the sofa.
"You are pregnant by some asshole and you think that compares to what I've been through."
"It could have easily happened to you as it did me," I stared into his eyes as he saw my point.
"But it didn't," he growled.
"But it could have," I growled back, not standing down. I didn't even realize how close we were while having this argument. At some point, I'd gotten up because now we were inches away from each other.
"We are not doing what if's. You are pregnant with that bastard's child."
"That bastard is my boyfriend, so if I was you Xander. I'd watch my mouth," I growled. I have never been pissed off at Xander. I knew this wouldn't go well, but I never thought he would piss me off this badly.
Xander steps back in shock. I guess he never knew that I could get like this. I never liked arguing and getting into conflicts. But I couldn't just stand here, while he bad-mouthed the guy that I was with. The guy who is the father of my child and is willing to support me.
"I'm just looking out for you Harper," Xander sighs before sitting back down.
"Yeah, but you're acting more like my brother than a friend," I pointed out before taking a seat myself. We sit for a few minutes to collect our thoughts. We both got super emotional and mad. I sit here thinking about the entire day and how it has been a complete mess. From the argument over how James doesn't like me to me finding out I'm pregnant and telling Xander about it. I don't even want to think about how my parents are going to act when they find out. Fear has already crept into my heart. The possibilities of what could happen are endless. I don't know how I should be thinking right now. All I know is that Lucas made me feel happy and safe when he told me he wanted to keep the baby.
"I have to when I'm all you got here," he sighs knowing how I hate the brother act.
"I have to grow up Xander. You can't always be the one protecting me," this was a truth that I have been needing him to see for a while now.
"You're my best friend Xander. I don't want to lose you as a friend. We have been together since we've been friends and I am so grateful for it. I hated it so much when you had to go off to college. It was hard for me, but I knew you had to do it." I smile as I see his eyes water a bit.
"Right now I need you to be my friend more than anything. I'm scared out of my mind as it is." I admit making his eyes shift back to mine.
"How do I help you?" He asks, looking like a defeated puppy.
"Support me. Be there for me. That is all that I am asking," I smile as I move next to him to pat his back. He lets out another sigh of defeat letting me know that he is done arguing and has accepted it.
"Fine, I can do that," he smiles faintly. I give him a big hug to show how much I appreciate him. Plus, I needed a hug after having a day like today.
The rest of the night went normal. We watch a couple of episodes of Criminal Minds before going to bed. Now I'm lying in bed looking at my ceiling. I'm dating Lucas Thompson, the most popular guy from High school. The guy who is a star football player at our University is dating a nobody like me. How did this happen? I thought he had always hated me, but instead, he had always liked me. I feel like I'm living in a Homemark movie or some romance book. Well, older romance books because romance books today are a bit darker and more erotic than my boring life. All my life I thought I would end up with some nerdy guy or just be completely alone. I had always thought I was stupid for liking Lucas more than just a friend. But how could I not fall for a guy like him? He was so sweet and kind to me. Every morning he would come to sit next to me in our English class. Sometimes he would bring me coffee and some breakfast. We would talk about silly things or movies that we enjoyed. I also remember how his fingers would brush up against my arm when we talked. When he did it the first time I brushed it off as an accident. But he did it all the time. I remember when I got onto him about it telling him to quiet it. All he did was give me a bright smile before saying, "I don't want to." Thinking back to it makes me smile before I drift off to sleep.