The Weight Of Deafness In Love And Survival

Chapter 14 - Too Much

-Dream-

"There's no way something like that actually existed." Jona says jabbing his finger at the picture of an animal the book we were looking at called a giraffe. "But water horses that eat people do?" I laugh flipping the page to the next animal, a sea horse. "Those are more believable than an animal with a neck that can measure over five feet." Jona huffs out before jabbing his finger at that picture stating "See there are water horses." "A sea horse doesn't eat people and is tiny." I state pointing to the description of the sea creature. Jona huffs again before grumbling "Yet the book with water horses that eat people is your favorite." "Hey, Puck's the one that wins the race." I argue looking at him and nudging him with my shoulder. "You sure it's not because it's also a love story?" Jona teases, looking at me with a grin while nudging me with his shoulder. But then something strange happens. Half his face suddenly blurs with someone else's...Murphy's. My eyes go wide at how flawless it was...how perfect fit despite the hardness contrasting the other side.

"Coopie?" He asks suddenly both sides of his face etching with concern as he asks "Is something wrong?" while reaching out to grab my shoulder.

-End Dream-

That's when I jolt awake. My hair falling in my face as I bolt up and breathe deeply while looking at my hands, trying to calm myself. What the hell was that? It felt so real. But it was impossible. It had to be. Jona was gone. Murphy was...Murphy. But who the hell was Murphy? Why did it fit so well? Was it just my brain showing me what I wanted to see? Did Clarke telling me that he wasn't Jona put that image in my head?

I'm dragged out of my thoughts by a hand grabbing my other shoulder and shaking me gently. I quickly look up in the direction of the owner, a concerned looking Clarke. I blink at her a moment the images from my dream fading from my mind. "You seemed to be having a nightmare. You okay?" She says then, her hands still gripping my shoulders so she couldn't sign to me.

I blink at her again before I manage to nod and sign to her "I'm fine." Clarke doesn't look convinced as she slowly lets go of my shoulders and leans back, her face turning apologetic, signing "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that yesterday." I just sigh and repeat the signed "I'm fine." She gives me a sad smile before she sighs, her face returning to apologetic, as she then signs "I'm also sorry about this but after what you did yesterday and the day before if you want to leave the dropship, you have to be with someone. Specifically, me or Wells. For now, you can't be out there on your own."

I release another sigh and nod, I expected this. Though, I didn't necessarily care for it, with a part of me wanted to argue that it didn't just have to be her or Wells. Monty hadn't left the dropship in the past three days, Octavia would be a bad call as it would invite Bellamy around, and Finn...well he did his own thing. And well...I was lucky I didn't get this stipulation once I got back the other day from wondering off into the forest on my own towards the waterfall.

She gives me a relieved smile as she signs "Thank you. I know you don't like it when it's like this." I just release another sigh and sign "It's fine. I expected it. And it should keep me away from Bellamy." Her smile drops from her face as it changes into a telling one as she signs "And Murphy." I just avert my eyes from her and nod. I know I should ignore him. I know he's a dangerous criminal. But Murphy was so familiar. Even before that dream.

She pats my hand then, to get me to look back at her. So, I slowly turn my eyes back to her with a sigh. "I mean it Cooper. Stay away from him." She signs, her face stern, leaving no room for argument. I release yet another sigh and nod.

She gives me another relived smile as she then signs "Good. Do you want us to go find Wells? I can't go out with you right now. I need to tend to Jasper." "How is-" I start to sign as I finally look behind her towards Jasper but the sight causes my hands to freeze and my face to contort. Jasper was stirring worse than before, drenched with sweat, and obviously groaning and moving in pain. My brain instantly filled my head and invaded my broken, empty, ears with replacement images and moans and groans from my memories.

I finally manage to tear my gaze away from Jasper to look back at Clarke, her face concerned again, "You okay?" She signs quickly but I can't bring myself to move my hands other than just dropping them into my lap. She seems to understand what's going on as she then signs "Okay let's find Wells really quick. Get you away from seeing him like that. It's too much for you."

The second I get myself to nod she's grabbing my hand, pulling me up, pulling me with her to the ladder.