Waffle Cones (#1)

i c e c r e a m

"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos." – Don Kardong

Note: Special thanks to snowingly for the cover featured above!

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"Hello?"

"Um, hey?"

"Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy."

"Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy."

"Wait, so who are you?"

"Who are you?"

"I asked first."

"I work at an ice cream store."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's one hundred degrees out in the middle of summer. If you don't eat or drink any cold substances, I guarantee that your melted body will be poured into a grave I can dance on."

"What the–"

"So, who can get you an ice cream discount? This guy can!"

"Who's super irritating? This guy is!"

"Hi, bitchy person who called me. I'm irritating, what's your name?"

"The most gorgeously witty and smart person to ever exist on the foundation of the universe."

"I don't think you can fit that on a name tag."

"I don't think we can fit your ego on a name tag."

"What the–"

"I won that one, irritating. Now let me call my Aunt Kathy in peace, will ya?"

"Okay, hang up."

"You hang up."

"No, you!"

"I hate you."

"The feeling is totally mutual."