Everything We Lost ~ The Hamilton Series ~ Book 1

~ Part 9 ~ Savannah ~

Savannah paced her room, sniffling and dabbing at her red-rimmed eyes. She dropped onto her bed, pounding her fists against the pillow before launching it across the room. It bounced off the wall and fell to the floor with an unsatisfying plop.

She snatched yet another tissue from the box and rubbed her damp cheeks before blowing her nose. The soggy tissue dropped into the growing heap on her bedside table before she flopped against her last surviving pillow. The pile drew her attention, and she finally heaved a sigh and stomped across her room to sweep them into the garbage can.

Done. Over. Final. Kaput. Things were falling apart. What to do next?

It seemed so silly. How she'd obsessed about cleaning the house, making cookies, and changing her outfit five times before hovering in front of the picture window. Her eager sprint through the front door. All to find him alone.

"Why don't you want me?" she whispered.

The photo on the bedside table caught her eye. A fresh wave of tears streamed down her face as she traced her mom's face.

How unfair. In her short lifetime, she'd lost not one, but two mothers. "I miss you." She set the silver frame in its place before yanking the last tissue from the box.

Nothing made sense, but she should have expected something would go wrong. The dread built as Aiden avoided her gaze and then her worst fear came true. How could a mother abandon her child? Aiden had said her mother had been devastated. So why would she refuse?

She tossed the last pillow from her bed and flung open her door, listening for any sounds. Nothing. Not even the usual small noises as her dad made dinner or the rattle of his newspaper broke the silence. She tiptoed down the hall, stopping for a sweater before she opened the door.

A few fluffy flakes of snow were falling, creating a light dusting of snow over the front walk which her dad was busy sweeping. After being cooped up in her room, the crisp air was refreshing.

She lowered herself onto the top step, observing as her dad concentrated on his task of keeping the yard perfect. The familiar pang hit as she thought about her mom.

Another injustice. The man who'd killed her in his drunken stupor was free. His children still had him, while her mom was gone forever.

"Where's Aiden?" she asked.

"He left."

"Where'd he go?" She huffed under her breath. Of course, he'd gone. He gave me away before. Why wouldn't he do it again? Even as the thought invaded, a small piece of her fought discouragement. He'd given up so easily, which meant one thing.

"Chicago, I imagine." Her dad stretched his arms above his head before bringing a hand down to rub his lower back.

"You're angry." Savannah hung her head.

"You seem angry enough for both of us." He leaned on the broom. "I'm sad and a little worried."

"Why? You should be thrilled he's out of our lives. He didn't fight it, and you never wanted me to see him to begin with."

"I wish your mom had burned that damn photo the minute we got home from the hospital. You've been obsessed with this quest. Now it's not happening and you're grouchy and disillusioned. Even worse, you're taking it out on someone who doesn't deserve it."

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I'm not the one who deserves the apology, Savannah." He wagged his index finger. "You've put Aiden in a tough spot. Maybe you'll see that someday."

"He's protecting her. I'm his child. It should be me he protects."

"Ask yourself how you'd feel in his position. This situation creates new issues in both of their lives. Can't you see?"