Never Letting Go

Chapter 8: Free

Nina POV:

It was dark when I woke, nighttime. I didn't know how long I had slept. My brain was foggy but I recognized where I was immediately, Ethan's bedroom. I was on his usual side of the bed easily looking out a window. What had happened? I slowly began to sit up. The weird sore feeling in my waist reminded me.

I had been hit and then...? I couldn't remember anything. I rubbed my stomach. Though the night was dark, the crescent moon provided enough light for me to see a fresh new small white scar. Great, another one.

I looked around the room. It was pitch black. I sniffed the air. He was here. He was probably sitting in the chair that  had been my closet companion for the past couple days.

"Ethan?" I asked. I was worried. Why was he sitting in the dark? Wait he hated me. That's right.

Slowly he got up and walked over to the edge sitting down beside me. He didn't say anything for a moment. Neither did I. Mostly because I didn't know what to say. He looked out the window and moonlight highlighted his handsome profile. He had a faraway look in his eye almost. It was a hard expression to define. I stared down at my hands. The silence wasn't awkward. I couldn't say it was comfortable though. Finally getting the courage I was about to say something when he spoke.

"Why aren't you in connection with your wolf?" The question threw me for a loop. I don't know what I was expecting but stupidly I wasn't expecting that. He didn't look at me just continued to look out the window.

"It's complicated." I whispered. He finally looked at me. My heartbeat sped up a little under his intense gaze. I looked away.

"That's dangerous Nina. You could have...would have died tonight." He seemed to be having a hard time with it. I hung my head. I was sorry now that I wasn't in communication with my wolf. I hadn't been before for reasons and I suppose mostly because I could die easier that way.

"How did...I survive then?" I asked quietly. My head was still hung low.

"I gave you some of my blood. It healed you." I nodded though he couldn't see. He was looking out the window again.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore. The silence between us was unbearable. "I'll just go," I said but my sentence was clipped off.

"Katie told me everything."

My head whipped up to look at him. My heartbeat raced. Please no, I thought. Tears came to my eyes but I held them back. He still wasn't looking at me.

"Told you what?" my voice was higher than normal as I attempted and failed to cover up the fact.

"You know what I am talking about Nina. She told me everything. That you aren't like other wolves. That you were originally from the Red Wood Pack. That you were the Alpha's daughter and what happened to him." He spoke carefully. I was having a hard time controlling my emotions. I felt betrayed. If he didn't hate me before he surely did now. And on top of that my mate most likely thought of me as a monster. That was the last thing I wanted him to think of me.

I had been so overwhelmed that I hadn't noticed him move closer to me. His strong arms encircled me and gently dragged me onto his firm lap. Sparks ignited within me. Once I was settled he wrapped my arms around me and hugged me tenderly. My eyes were leaking with tears. I couldn't stand any of it. Was he mad at me? Did he just feel sorry? What was he thinking?!I crumbled against his muscular chest. He didn't mind though as he held me steady, rubbing my back.

He turned me a little so he could bury his head in my neck. He inhaled deeply several times. "Why?" came my croaky strained voice. Ethan sat back to look at me. His face was partially shadowed now from my own. I could see him perfectly though. It is difficult to describe his face. I knew he was serious about whatever he was about to say next. But he was also gentle and compassionate. I moved to whip the tears away. I didn't want him to see me crying. He beat me however, his large calloused hands whipping the salty liquid from my face. It was so comforting, and oddly, safe feeling. I leaned into his hand as he kept it there. He stared me straight in the eye for a moment. Leaning closer to my face I felt his wonderful lips on each of my wet cheeks. Then finally they met my own. The tingles were almost unbearable. But in a good way. It was perfect.

After a moment of our mouths working in sink he pulled away. I frowned slightly at the loss of contact. "Because I love you!" he whispered. "I don't care what you may or may not have done in your past. You did what you had to do to stay alive and keep your pack alive. And because of that, I am even more honored to have you as my mate." My eyes were wide in astonishment. Did he mean those things? He smiled at me and I knew they were.

My tears turned to ones of happiness. I felt like a boulder had been lifted off my back . I felt...free.