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"Catch one's heart, never be apart."

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I laid on Jiho's couch in his apartment, my mind racing with all sorts of thoughts. After he left to have a meeting with his company, I took that time to call my close friends. The only person I had yet to talk to was Ming. I wasn't ready for her harsh judgments on my already unstable state- whereas as like with James who had undying support.

This whole situation was a nightmare for me. I never wanted to leave the safety of my boyfriend's apartment, or even the blanket I was wrapped up in. After we got off the phone earlier I wasn't feeling entirely better. His Twitter message I thought was good, and it was almost helping.

I of course had to go and snoop on Instagram and other places. Plenty of people were showing support, trying to point out how open Zico was trying to be with his personal life. Plenty of people also tried to say that we didn't want this to turn out how it did with U-Kwon. I hoped as the days went on people would stop caring as much, or even saw it as nothing. For all my life I never cared or saw the big deal when people or celebrities dated, I don't understand how fans could act like they owned the people.. it wasn't like they had the sort of say. Didn't they understand that their words hurt?

Soon the front door opened and Jiho walked in. He gave me a sad smile as he kicked off his shoes and set his keys down.

"Hey.." he took a seat besides where I laid.

"Hi." was all I said. I was hurting and I didn't want him to see, but I knew he could definitely see through that. Apart of me wanted to curl up and have a good cry but I knew he wouldn't let that happen.

"You know I really care about you and hate that this is happening..."

"You don't need to keep repeating that oppa. I know you didn't want this."

"I'm just worried. Like do you want to go home? I'm sure you're friends want to see you and all... but then I just worry that someone could somehow recognize you-"

I reached out from under the blanket and took his hand into my own, "it'll be fine. If anyone wants to take it as far as confront me in person than they'll look crazy and there'll be a lot of sympathy on our side!" I tried to smile.

"You're right but... some of our fans can be much.."

"I know."

"I also... don't want to leave you alone. I don't want to sound selfish but I want to be the one to be here for you. I think that sometimes I'm the only person who could help you when you're feeling down, though I know that's not true. You do have good friends."

"My friends are all kind."

"Well besides Ming."

I stayed quiet. He was right and I knew it. I didn't want to admit to him or myself but she made things so much harder. Maybe with the news getting out like this she'd turn around? Maybe she'd be my support system once again?

"What are you thinking hun?" Jiho's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"About Ming. Maybe she'll see how harsh she's been..."

"Why do you always try to think the best of her?"

"Why not? I have to." I sat up so I could be more level with my boyfriend. I rested myself against his chest and felt his arms wrap tightly around my frail frame. Being close like this to him felt great. I could feel calm and loved and never had to worry, "thank you for being here."

"I always will be. Whenever anything comes up or you need me I will be."

***

I was thankful to have gotten time to stay at home rather than the studio. I got to keep my eyes on Chan, and the whole "scandal" without feeling majorly stressed. Close friends of mine showed their support, but it wasn't like they could just fix it.

My thoughts were always on Chan though. It felt normal to watch her closely making sure she wasn't hurting herself or looking down. I could tell she was trying to be positive, try to look at this with a better perspective.. but someone who's struggled with depression for so long I could tell it was starting to eat at her.

I tried to keep conversations light and fun between us, watch her favorite shows. She even would sit as I worked on my music at home. I enjoyed seeing her appreciate my work and seeing how into it she got. A small part of me felt that maybe I was stealing her away from her friends all for myself, but I felt that our time like this together would be good. Chan hadn't cried in a few days and she'd eat on her own. To me that was an accomplishment.

"Yah Jiho could you reach this glass for me?"

"Of course." I chuckled as I walked into the kitchen where I heard her call. It was always entertaining to see her try to reach for things.

Easily I was able to get the small glass cup she was trying to grab, "thank you." she immediately went and filled it with water from the fridge and turned to smile at me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I've been feeling pretty good lately actually. Maybe because I've been like completely isolating myself but that's okay."

"As long as you're feeling okay.. That's all that matters to me." I loved seeing her like this, a slight glow and genuine smile. She was beautiful.

***

[wow it's been awhile since I've updated... so many people have been seeming to love this story so I really tried to update! I can't guarantee that I'll actually start working on this story again cause tbh I've forgotten a lot about the story line and such... I apologize. But I really wanted to give another chapter for you all]

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 29, 2017 ⏰

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