Running with Scissors

Ten.

I rolled over in my bunk, it was odd waking up by myself but my head wasn't pounding which was nice. I grabbed my phone and saw that it was almost 3 am, I wasn't really tired anymore so I grabbed the throw blanket that was in my bunk and went into the front lounge, I turned on the tv really low and began watching South Park. It seemed like either everyone was asleep or had gone out.
"You stole my blanket," a very groggy Devin spoke and came and sat right by me.
"I'm sorry, here you go." I said unwrapping the blanket from around myself and handing it to him.
"No, Stell I was kidding." He adjusted the blanket so we were both covered by it.
We sat in silence for a few minutes just watching the tv, I could tell he was waking up and was going to want to start talking soon. So I decided to do the talking first, "So how's your hand doing?"
"Oh it's fine, a little tender definitely bruised but fine." He spoke showing me his hand, I took it in mine to get a better look and he decided to intertwine our fingers. I looked down at our hands and couldn't help but smile a little bit, but I couldn't do this so I pulled my hand away from his.
I looked into his eyes and just poured out my heart, " Okay Devin here's the thing the other night in Toronto, I was having a horrible night people on Twitter were calling me a slut and just be super mean. And the only thing I wanted in this world was to be alone with you not having to deal with that. Well then when I got back to the bus there was this girl straddling you and had her tongue down your throat," I felt my throat begin to tighten as I spoke but I couldn't stop "so I went and stood the night on Upon A Burning Bodies bus. When I woke up I was more than sad I was just heart broken and then when I came back here you acted like nothing had happened which made it worse so I wanted to make you jealous and like hurt you. Which wasn't mature and I should have just talked it out but instead I used Denis. I knew he would willing do anything for me so I took full advantage of that. But then you guys fought and that made me feel even worse because it showed me how much you care but also how much Denis still cares and now I'm just so so confused. Because in all honestly I have feelings for both of you." I finished and felt hot tears roll down my cheeks, I stared down at my hands not wanting to make eye contact with him.
      "Stella," he spoke so gently that I had to look at him. He wiped the tears away from my eyes and then began to speak, "first of all that girl was some crazed fan that snuck onto the bus and literally attacked me, I tried getting her off of me and the only way we could get her off was Andrew and Jeff had to lift her off of me. Stella ever since warped tour you've been the only girl I've even thought about the only one I want to be with. Stella I could see us settling down one day getting married, having kids, doing the huge family barbecues, growing old together and just being able to love you more more each day. Seeing you with Denis yesterday it hurt it really did because I know you loved him at one point. I was extremely jealous and slightly pissed off punching him wasn't the answer but it happened and I can't take that back. But I can promise you this I will give you as much time as you need and as much space as you want because I want you to fall madly and deeply in love with me and only me. I want to be with you and if that means I have to wait for you to figure stuff out I can do that, but I want you to know I'm going to keep fighting for this, for you and I. "
      I smiled slightly at him, that was by far the sweetest thing I had ever heard and the way his eyes sparkled I could tell he had meant every single word. I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, "You should probably go and get some sleep. You have to look extra good for those fans of yours tomorrow."
     He chuckled softly and kissed me on the nose, " alright goodnight."
     Devin left me with a lot to think about, and I knew I'd have to talk to Denis soon either to close that chapter completely or to see if there was anything still left. 

15 Hours Later
   

     Doors had just opened for the show and I just really wanted to talk to Denis, after talking to Devin this morning he had given me tons to think about. I also just really needed to apologize to Denis about everything.
      I wandered around the backstage for a little while until I saw Sam who told me where I could find Denis. I found him sitting in one of green rooms casually drinking a beer.
      "Hey, can I talk to you?" I asked walking up to him.
      He patted the empty spot of the couch, "Of course love."
      I went and sat down beside him, his eye was looking a lot better but it was still my fault and I felt horrible about that, "I'm so so sorry about you eye Denis."
      "Oh it's alright Stells, shit happens. And he was just jealous." He smiled at me. "And rightly so if I saw you on his arm I'd probably throw a punch too."
      "That's actually kinda what I want to talk to you about." I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath and just let it all out, "So we broke up almost exactly a year ago and I've been trying my very hardest to get over you Denis. Well this summer I was finally starting to get over it all and it was because of Devin. He was sweet and thoughtful and just super caring, and for the first time in months I wasn't heartbroken over you. Well he kissed me one night and I panicked and ran away not wanting to deal with falling for a lead singer again. Well we all came on this tour and of course I was jealous seeing you flirt with other girls so I turned to Devin and our relationship started to thrive really. Some stuff happened that caused him to hurt me so I turned to you, for that comfort well it comepletely reignited the feelings I had for you. So the point of this is I have feelings for both you and Devin; and I just need some time to really sort out my feelings for you guys." I finished and let out the breath I had been holding in.
     "A little heathy competition never hurt anyone right? You take as much time as you need Stella, I'll be here waiting, I've always regretted breaking up with you and if this means I get a second chance at really being with you well I'm all for it." Denis did he signature smirk that always got to me.
      So it was out there and tension was slightly cleared which was nice, now I had to chose Devin or Denis. But I didn't have time to think about it now I had a show to shoot.
     I decided to shoot from side stage today, just to change the dynamic of my pictures, Born Of Osiris had just went on and I got a bunch of really good pictures. That's when I got a text from Craig.

Craig👸: do you guys have an days off in Florida?

Me: yeah we do we'll be in Tampa from the 22-24, why?

Craig👸: good I just booked my tickets. I missed my little sister.

Me: that's exciting I can't wait to see you! Is it just going to be you or........????

Craig👸: I'm bringing Robert. I was going to bring the kids but they still have school. And I can't have them miss that many days.

Me: that's awesome well I'm looking forward to seeing you.

     I was more than exciting getting this information; my brother was my rock and if anyone could give me insist on what do about these boys he'd be the one to do it. Hopefully the next two weeks would pass without as much drama as before.

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Yo Guys!
        Damn 3 updates in a day and a half wow, who knew I had it in me. As always thank so so much for reading this I really truly appreciate it. Lots of stuff is about to happen so I'm excited for that so stay tuned.
     xo