The good that you do will come back to you. Likewise, the wrong things you've done in life will have its consequences too. Pain doesn't go easy. It hurts. But then, you turn to Allah and slowly if not suddenly you start feeling better. So much better. He open doors for you, give you new dreams, take care of you more than anything. You actually start feeling His love that you always heard of; the love of more than seventy mothers.
Then, you have to rely on Allah swt. Trust Him with everything. You have to let go of your past. More importantly, you do not have to repeat the past. Everyone make mistakes. It's more about how you deal with those mistakes. There are always two ways: To be stagnant and to have courage to accept mistakes, make yourself right and move on. Easier said than done, I know. But you need to force this attitude on yourself to be happy, to grow. Being stucked somewhere in the past is the least attractive thing. Don't chase the same pattern and do not start disobeying Allah all over again.
This time will pass, even the pain will go; but if you choose to be stagnant, you will regret more than anything. Hurdles come, you will get tired too; offcourse it all takes time, you can also stop for a while but then get up again and move. Do not make your home in those hurdles.
Cry to Allah, make du'a to Him and He will pour patience upon you in ways and in situations that you will be shocked by yourself.
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"Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by God's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it's yours from destiny, from you it can not flee." - Umar ibn al-Khattab
