Four Broken Pieces ✓

Twenty Four

"You look better," was the first thing I said as soon as we entered my mother's old bedroom and she shut the door behind me. I chose to lean against the windowsill as she took a seat on the bed and placed her head in her hands. She looked strangely vulnerable and lost for words. I'd only seen her look that way once before, and that was the day she left this house. 

"I let go of the alcohol and the...men," she said, wincing slightly before she said the last word. I let out a sigh of relief without even realizing it. So she was recovering, slowly. With a shock, I realized tears pricked the back of my eyes. I still cared about this woman, deeply, after all, we'd been through. 

"Thank you," I said softly and she finally looked up to me, her eyes filled with tears that made my heart squeeze painfully in my chest.

"You look beautiful darling," she said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. I realized it still pained her, the fact that I wasn't as skinny as I was before, and the fact that I'd thrown away her dreams of becoming a model. But she was trying, and that meant the world to me. Her recovery would be slow, but with time maybe we'd find our way back to what we once were.

"Why are you here mother," I asked softly, not meaning to be rude but I knew she'd come here with a purpose. My mother wasn't one to drop in for a meaningless chat. And I doubted my grandfather even knew where she was. He'd have called me first to give me a warning.

Those blue eyes regarded me with caution and I realized she was analyzing, assessing me before saying her next words. Whatever she saw on my face made her smile just a tiny bit before she began to speak.

"Let me move back in here. With you," she said, getting straight to the point. She rose off the bed to take my hands in her. They felt cold to touch and foreign. I realized she'd probably never done this before, these physical displays of affection. At least not after the accident. 

I looked at her, her wide blue eyes pleading with me, her hushed breath in anticipation of what I would say next. Her hands felt slightly clammy like she was genuinely nervous of what I would say. It looked like she genuinely wanted to stay here. I knew I'd promised her the chance to mend our relationship in the future, but was I ready to do that now? Had she really changed? I'd been fooled so many times before and every time, it only cut another jagged scar across my heart. And the sad truth was that, with everything that was going on with boys, I couldn't afford another scar on my heart. Not right now and sadly, I didn't trust her enough to not inflict one again.

I didn't think I could shape the words that would crush the small light that had appeared in my mother's eyes but somehow I managed to. I'd grown a bit harder and colder since she'd left me. 

"No. Not right now but I'll visit more. I promise," I said, quickly talking to salvage that temporary hope but that light died as quickly as it had come. She stepped backward, dropping my hands. The calculating look entered her eyes once more, and they narrowed, assessing the situation before they lit up as she reached a conclusion.

"Its those boys isn't it," she asked furiously and before I could even reply, she'd ripped open the bedroom door and stormed down the stairs. It took me a minute before I started my legs to follow after her, taking the steps two at a time to prevent whatever horrible words she'd spit out in her uncontrolled anger.

The scene that greeted me was even more unpleasant than the one I'd walked into through the front door. My mother stood there, looking wild and vengeful as she glared at the boys. I think she saw them as people I'd chosen over her. The boys had scrambled off the couch to take a stand in front of her and I noticed how Ivan had edged himself in front of the other two, matching my mother's glare with a look of his own. In fact, all three of them looked equally resentful, having pieced together the part she'd played in my past. Neither of them broke their stare as I entered the room.