Jst Random Words

unmasked

      I wasn't going to take it off
          ever
I was just going to pretend
            everything's okay
I even fooled myself
    that the mask made it easier
          but it didn't
                      not really
       not in the long run
  
  I started to see the damage
but even then I kept it on
          forgotten what it was like
     unmasked
           too afraid of what I'd be
     without the mask

           all that pain inside
   was slowly destroying me
         but the unknown is scary
and I didn't know how to live
                       unmasked

    had it ever since I saw
      the world is breaking apart
              people lie
    and they don't care
   caught in their own problems

did anyone ever tell you
          bad things happen
    that our world is spiralling
       down into hell
and that people often live
          with closed eyes and ears
   don't want to know
what's really going on around

  behind my mask
        I started to see
just what a person can do
         to herself
    when she's alone and hurting

  I wrapped my pain around me
         like an invisible cloak
  and the world blurred
I saw everything with a filter
      question marks everywhere
  on everything
             why? why? why?
  and the burden grew
            crushing me
      life made no sense
                without a purpose
            no reason to keep trying
       to get up again and walk on

  and my mask
      it pulled me down
            because it hid me

false sense of safety
   no one can hurt me more
          than myself
I had locked myself up
             thrown away the key
   and I was destroying myself
       
   I just wanted it to end
                    feeling nothing
      but feeling everything
I was going to take the mask off
             show my true face
      see if anyone cared at all

    but the key was lost
             and I was killing myself
   realized I wasn't ready
     to face death and Beyond
but I couldn't take off the mask
       and no one saw my agony
I screamed
         seeing myself fall
    but no one heard
I watched, helpless
       as darkness took me

  so sorry
         forgive me
            
   and then I saw two hands
             held out to me
       I grabbed them
but the mask was so heavy
                 and the pain so great
         I cried, giving up
when through my pain I saw
      tears falling onto my hands
realized that Someone did care
         that Someone was seeing
  what no one ever had
              that He wept
                  for me

      and the knowledge
    He understood me fully
              He truly cared
        made me trust Him
    let Him take off my mask
           even if I was so scared
        of not hiding

   I became Unmasked

and my life was changed
      forever