Going Nowhere Fast

16. Hot Mess

I didn't know what to do. He was passed out in the bathtub and was shivering. I had to get him out of those wet clothes. I dragged his body out of the bathtub. He was a lot lighter than I was expecting.

He was giving me this weird look before he fainted. It almost looked like he was afraid of me.

I pulled him onto the bed where I proceeded to take off the damp jeans he had on. I was thankful he was wearing boxers but I nearly gasped when I saw all of the scars over his thighs. I looked back up at his face. His eyelashes were brushing against his slightly rosy and lightly freckled cheeks. His full, pink lips were slightly parted revealing the bottoms of his front two teeth, and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed. He looked like an angry angel. I went through his bag and found some pajamas that he hadn't worn yet. I figured it would be a good idea to go to the laundromat later when he was feeling better. I slid his pajama pants on him and covered him in blankets. I also laid out a glass of water for when he woke up along with some Motrin that I kept on me for my period cramps.

I sat on one of the arm chairs in the room reading a magazine when I heard him start to move.

"Ow" was all he said at first, followed by, "What time is it?"

"It's eleven-thirty," I replied softly.

I heard him take the Motrin and drink the water.

"Thank you," he said.

"Yeah I was hoping I could convince you to tell me what the actual fuck happened to you last night."

"Oh, yeah I'm sorry. I got too drunk," he said nonchalantly.

"How?" I asked sounding demanding.

"I went on a walk and I met these guys who were weird but kind of nice and we all went to the beach together and drank and the cops showed up so we jumped into the ocean and they didn't find us and yeah that's about it."

"So, then what happened this morning?"

"Anxiety attack?" he questioned, calmly.

I narrowed my eyes on his and asked, "Does that happen often?"

"Yeah, it's alright. I'm used to it."

"That's a kind of experience you just get used to?" I questioned him.

"I mean, not really, no. In the moment, it feels like the worst kind of feeling ever but then when it's over it doesn't even feel like much even happened. Those kinds of overreactions feel normal when looking back on them. The aftermath is what you get used to."

"Are you like, alright?" I asked walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

He smiled, but shook his head 'no.'

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked.

"Not unless you can make my brain make normal amounts of chemicals."

--

Once Billie was feeling better, we headed out to the nearest laundromat where we washed all the clothes we had. We didn't have a lot of time to pack more things. We only had a few more nights left at the hotel and we still hadn't come up with our next plan. Part of me felt like it would've been a good idea to go home and clear Billie's name, myself. Another part of me didn't want to leave his side. We had started this adventure together so we should've ended it together too.

Another part of me thought about splitting ways. It didn't feel right but neither did making him go back before he was ready to. I didn't know what he wanted, but what I wanted was to just stay on this adventure with him.