Chapter 17

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They told me that it was great that I was more social, but I still had to spend time thinking about my future.
Silly them.
I had it all planned out already.
There's only a month of school left.
Not even two months ago I thought that would be the moment I left this place behind me and never looked back, but I knew I couldn't do that.
Not now.
Not when I finally found someone who made me want to stay.
Not just here in this dingy town, but everywhere.
I wanted to stay in one place, and go thousands of other places at the same time.
That was how Jack made me feel.
Just on the verge of finding myself, but still close enough to the edge that a single push could make me lose myself completely.
But that was okay if Jack was there.
If I lost myself, Jack would help me invent a new me.
Maybe he could help me make one that wasn't so messed up.
Once, Jack told me that he was messed up.
I didn't believe him.
I asked him why he thought that.
He told me that sometimes he wished that he could do things that no one would ever approve of.
He didn't tell me what, but I understood.
When you know no one will ever understand just why you like the things you do, you stop telling them.
We alternated between the coffee shop and the park now.
At the park, I followed him down the trails like a little puppy.
I didn't want to be a puppy, but it was better than nothing.
Jack told me it was cute.
My heart beat faster.
When he told me that, I felt something.
Normal.
I knew at that moment that I was thinking about my future every time I was around Jack.
Because normal was everything.

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