Friend Me (L.M X H.J)✅

23.

Jisung POV

It's been two weeks since we got back from our vacation and today was mine and Minho three month anniversary. Today was supposed to make me cheerful and excited for a night out with him but I instead felt worried and uneasy. Minho has been acting off since the day after we got back from LA. He wasn't acting normal during our dance practice, it was like it wasn't even there.

My heart aches that he didn't even want to talk to me about what was going on in his head. I have a feeling Minho depression has come back to haunt him. Whenever I went to visit him after practice he'd either be at the dance studio or already asleep in his bed. He looked paler, smile faded, eyes dull, and his personality fatigued. It was even more worrying when he wouldn't even show me an ounce of affection or respond to my attempts of affection at him.

I wanted my Minho back before he did something he'll regret.

~

Minho depression had truly gotten worse. His acting job didn't even exist anymore but the company still wouldn't allow him to leave. He found it incredibly frustrating to be insured into something that he couldn't do anything in. Felix, his roommate moved out two days after they got back with Woojin. Minho envy Felix, his contracted ended and he was free to pursue something greater.

Since he didn't really have a job; he slept into the early afternoon, ate a cup of ramen for breakfast, did a 20 minute workout, spent the rest of his evening dancing until he felt sore, come home to take a shower, skip dinner, and just go to bed by the time the clock hit 12AM.

He felt exhausted with this routine of his. He hated himself for letting his life become a waste. He hated not being able to fake a smile for Jisung anymore, he hated that he was being a burden by concerning his friends.

The voices no longer spoke quietly to him, they're loud & patronizing. He hated when they came out at night to keep him up all night. He covered his ear, scream into his pillow, and cry from the painful words being thrown at him all over again. He thought he was better but it's like he was having a relapse.

"I'm sorry Eomma."

"I know I'm disappointed Eomma."

"I'm a burden to you and everyone."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

He cry these words out into his pillow while the same tone of his mother voice lashing throughout his ears.

"WHY CAN'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT?! *slap* YOU'RE A DISAPPOINTMENT AND I WISH I KILLED YOU OFF THE MOMENT I KNEW! *push* WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE BEEN SMART, ADMIRABLE, AND WISE! YOU'RE JUST AN IDIOT WITH A PRETTY FACE! *smack* Pathetic!"

"I WISHED YOU'D JUST KILL YOURSELF SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE!" *darkness*

"But he loves me. Jisung still loves me. I love him, he loves me. Right?" Minho questions through the tears and burning memory.

"WHY would he love a DISAPPOINTMENT like you!"

"IDIOT!"

"but.." He sobs.

"Can't you listen? NOBODY LOVES YOU! JUST DIE ALREADY! END THEIRS AND MY SUFFERING!"

Minho mentality broke, not a single good thought crept into his mind. Nothing was holding him back anymore as he got out of his bedroom to walk into the kitchen. He rummaged through the kitchen drawers before finding a large chopping knife. Everyone was currently asleep and it's not like they would care, "I'm a burden" He thinks to himself.

~

I arrive at Minho dorm, it was currently 1AM and I finished practicing only twenty minutes ago. I was tired but I needed to make sure Minho was okay these days. Since I kept coming late at night when he was already asleep the guys just ended up giving me a key to stop from waking them up.

He unlocked the front door to see a light shining down the living room to where the hallway of everyone rooms are. I close and lock the door behind myself before continuing forward. I make my way into the hallway to see Minho bedroom door open but he wasn't in there. I looked further down to see the bathroom light on underneath the door so I make my way over to hear a muffled scream.

I began to pound my fist against the door while trying to open the door, it was locked. "MINHO!" I call out his name as I heard another muffled scream, this time louder. Goosebumps formed on my skin as they sounded like the ones I heard when I saved him from jumping into the river.

"MINHO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OPEN THE DOOR!" I call out to him, more frantic and scared. I began to kick the door and continue yelling for him.

"OPPA PLEASE!" There was no screaming being heard just light sobs. I kicked the door again to where the handle portion broke and cracked the door open.

I open the door to see Minho sat against the sick cabinets with blood stain hands, blood soaking through his shirt, two large cuts visible on his stomach through the tears of his shirt. I immediately grabbed a towel and crouched down to stop the blood from soaking further. The knife was visible next to him so I reached over and slid it out the door.

"Why did you do this?" I sob.

"Cause Eomma told me to." Tears slipped down his cheeks. "She was right. She should have killed me off when she had the chance." He croaks out. I began to call for an ambulance while listening to Minho finally vent out to me.

"Help will be here soon, just keep talking to me." I tell him with a soft voice. I get up to grab another towel to switch it with the one filling with blood.

"I'm sorry Jisungie. I'm sorry for being your burden. I love you but I didn't want to have you deal with this anymore." He coughs.

"You're not a burden to me Minho. You're my everything and I devote myself everyday to just be there for you. I will be here to save you every time you fall. Because that's what loving someone means." I kiss him on his forehead.

"Oh my god! MINHO!!!" Jeongin voice screamed from behind me. "Stop yelling and go unlock the door for the paramedics they should be here soon." I tell him. Jeongin just nods his head with visible tears in his eyes as he ran away.

"Promise me?"

"What is it?"

"Promise you'll help me no matter what; but most importantly, promise you'll always save me." He raises his hand up with his pinkie out. I immediately link my pinkie with his.

"I promise."