13.

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Handprints and footprints
on my glass
Handprints and good grips
all on my ass.

The girls and I pack up our clothes for the last time this weekend. I am always grateful that Sunday's finish early because it means more time for me to snuggle into my warm bed and drift off to sleep.

But I haven't been able to sleep lately and thats because both Ethan and Grayson had failed to show up both Saturday and Sunday night.

Im probably being stupid, they couldn't keep paying to come in here to watch me do the same thing over and over again, although I had secretly hoped they would.

Yesterday night I had laid staring up to the ceiling thinking about Grayson's hands as they roamed my bare body, and I had thought so deeply about mine and Ethan's lap dance earlier. I think I even moaned without having to touch myself.

"So were meeting Wednesday to find outfits?" Asks Bambi and the girls respond in a chorus of yes'.

I swim through the blue fog still hopelessly looking around for my boys but they are no where to be found and my heart shatters a little.

At times like this I seriously wish I had breached the rules and gotten their phone numbers. Maybe not to text constantly, but just to check that they were okay and hadn't fled the country.

The streets are dark but yet still illuminated by the lamps every few metres. I can't help but think about how sinister they looked as I skip past them.

As my feet pad against the sidewalk my thoughts become occupied by the gods that were Grayson and Ethan. I can't stop myself even if I try.

I wonder whether they would ever want me to choose between them and how the fuck I would do that when they were both absolutely heavenly.

I turn to look at my small house and to my shock the front porch is wrapped in toilet roll and printed upon the front door in red paint is the word 'slut'.

I take out my phone and snap a picture of the horror in front of me.

This is only the second time this had happened in the past few years of working at SIN CITY which is good compared to the other girls, but it doesn't take away how shit I felt about it.

I have to sort it all out before the sun rises and the neighbours see all of my sins. I don't want them to see me as anything less than a normal girl so I wander inside grabbing a bucket and a sponge.

Early morning and after an hour of scrubbing, the red paint was barely visible and I have to turn to the toilet paper that littered the front of my house.

I try to think about who the hell could've done this, I didn't think anyone had seen me leaving the club recently and the only people I was close to was the boys and I had walked in the opposite direction every time.

With an armful of toilet paper I stumble inside and dump it all in the trash, Im annoyed and tired but I still can't sleep.

SIN-CITY FAM💦

SIN-CITY FAM💦

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