Baby Tyler | TwentyOnePilots

Chapter 11: Jenna's home from Florida (Pt. 4)

AN: I decided to make it a four parter instead of a three part. Hope you enjoy!

Tyler's P.O.V

I-I don't feel it anymore, I bury my face in the couch and hope for the best but someone is lifting me up.. And it isn't Josh....I squeal out of fear. She apologizes, she starts bouncing me! Like a child!

Jenna... JENNA. MY WIFE IS HOLDING ME. I suddenly realize in full effect, and I can't do this. I've been crying from the moment she touched me, but I start crying louder and louder.

She places me on her soft, delicate shoulder and pets and hugs me until only whimpers are escaping my mouth. "There see?" She says to me kindly. "It's alright, it's all better!" Jenna it's not, it's not all better! You wouldn't be saying that if you knew who I was! Here go the waterworks again, but this time I just scream, I scream and cry and just can't help it. I want Josh! Give me Josh!

He wakes up and just panics for a second and then he sees Jenna. His panicked face says it all, and let me just say. Me too Josh, okay? Me too.

My mind is racing. I can't hear it all, I can't hear everything they're saying over my own thoughts: 


She's going to leave you.

What kind of husband are you?

Do you think they'll still want you?

You're a burden for them.

You're going to forget and break their hearts.

Why'd she come back? They're better off without you.

I am consumed with these thoughts until I hear Jenna ask where I am. I can't deal with this! I scream and wail and cry and I'm loud enough to break some glass or bust an ear drum I'm sure, even as a baby.

She tries rocking and swaying and bouncing and I. Can't. Do. This. Jenna you won't love me anymore! I can't tell you! I don't want to lose you! You... You can't go...

I lose focus again, I can't hear them. I don't want to hear them. I can't help it, but I hear the words. "'doesn't want', 'like this', 'Embarrassed', 'diaper'." Oh no, what's he telling her!? I cling to her shirt tighter not wanting to hear, but inevitably I have to know what they're saying. 

I try my hardest to focus on the words, although I don't like what I hear... "they're blissfully unaware!" Blissfully unaware? Is that why I'm losing control? Is that all I'm going to become? A man who's lost his purpose, a man with a restart? I don't want to restart. I'm going to lose her and Josh and everything. I can't! I start sobbing more and I end up soaking my tears into her shoulder on her nice shirt.

I'm sorry Jenna.

I hear her speak again, and she's looking for me! Josh can't keep her off the scent forever, what am I going to freaking do?! I can't take this!! I keep crying, and I hate that oh my gosh I hate it.

Then I hear it... Josh tells her. He tells her. Everyone goes silent. My tears have only subsided into small hiccups because my lungs can't find the courage to breathe.

She laughs... Why is she laughing? Does she think it's a joke? Maybe that's good... Maybe Josh can lie, but he can't just lie.. She will start to worry and do I really want her to worry? But do I really want her to see me like this...?

She asks, he explains, and everything is getting fuzzy again, but all I can think of is her leaving... Please don't go.

"Can he understand me?? Does he know who he is?" she asks. Why are you asking?? "...Yeah for now he does." Josh responded and wow, thanks Josh! My cries grow sadder because he speaks into existence my fears. I can't. I don't want to forget... I don't...

She speaks gently to me, she rubs my back for reassurance.

"Tyler, don't panic, I'm right here. I'm right here and I love you. I won't stop loving you." How?! Jenna, how can you say that!? I may never turn back! you don't deserve this! You don't deserve to put up with me, you deserve better!

"Y-you won't wove me." I squeak a small sound out of my hoarse throat. Although, I don't think she expected a response.

"Tyler why on earth would you say that??" She sounded shocked. "B-because I'm a baby."I say in between breaths. I start having a harder time breathing, and I'm getting choked on my own tears. 

"Tyler..." She gently peels me off her shoulder and makes me look at her in the eyes. Oh no, put me back, please? Just put me back, I can't look at you...Not like this.

"Tyler that doesn't matter. I will always love you, don't you worry! I'm sticking here by your side. Please don't even think for a second I'll leave you."

Do you not understand the weight of the situation? Please. Understand! What If I don't turn back?! "But w-what if I'm a baby forever!?" I sobbed back into her shirt. 

"..then maybe I'll just have to learn to love you differently. I don't understand it, but I'm here." she kisses my head gently. "I'm staying right here." She tells me.

Learn to love me differently? I don't want you to love me differently, I just want my wife.... I love you Jenna, and you really do love me don't you? Thank you for staying... Please, please don't leave. I cry quietly as she holds me close.

It feels so good to be cuddled and loved on. I suppose she's the one holding me in her arms though, huh?

"T-thanks Jenna.." I cry and cuddle. 

"I'll do this, all of this, for you because I truly love you." She hugs me and swats with me. 

I hope she won't leave, I hope neither of them leave... I hope I don't burden them, I know I have. I'm sorry.

I miss them so much. I hope they stick around.

I just miss being grown up.