Fault [bxb] ✔

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CHAPTER 43 | Rupert

So after I finally confessed my true sexuality to Rupert and myself, I continued living my normal life, but now I saw the world from a different way. I was no longer trying to force myself to like something that I didn't really like. No longer I wanted to try kissing girls to see if I still liked them or not, because that was clear in my head already: I don't like girls. I like guys.

It took a good amount of time to finally accept it. If it wasn't for Rupert who encouraged me to literally yell it at the top of my lungs, I'd probably be denying who I am for the next couple of years. Although this is something that only Rupert and I know, because my sexuality would still remain a secret from my family and friends. But hey, at least it's not a secret for me anymore.

Zack had always wanted me to accept who I was since those days I started kissing him. But I refused to do it. I wish I could've sorted out my sexuality before this whole thing happened, before I turned into a monster and beat him up mercilessly. I just hope that whoever his soul is resting at this moment, that he knows that I'm not hiding my true self now, and that if I ever fall in love with another boy again, I'm not making the same mistakes as before.

Now, you could be probably thinking that the person who I might fall in love with, would be my best friend Rupert. Sure, I... I like him, he's hot, handsome and I like it when we kiss... Hell, I even touched his dick, for God's sake! But that's all I see in him, really. His looks, not his feelings. I don't see myself in a future falling in love with him, making him my boyfriend, getting married and all that. I don't think I could share those feelings of love. I only see him as a friend, as a second brother who is there at my side at every moment to support me. From the times that we have kissed, though, you could say that we're friends with benefits, but that's all. You could also say that he's really not my type.

I think I like more boys who are shorter than me, cute and shy like Zack... Now HE was the one who I think I felt something more than just attraction and lust. Maybe I could find someone who resembles him, someone who has the same features and personality as him, to see if I can feel those sensations again. But I'm not very sure if that would be possible. No one could be compared to my little and adorable Zack.

Anyway, changing the subject, right after I came out to myself in front of Rupert, I started living my life as a recently out-of-closet gay man. I did things that no straight guy would dare to do. One of those things was that I started watching porn at night before I went to sleep, and not the kind of porn that I would watch sometimes, but a different kind. I struggled so much to type the words gay porn into the search bar and tap the first link, but I was curious as hell, so I after I encouraged myself some more, I dared to just do it and see what this gay porn was about.

It didn't take me long to find a video that caught my attention. The thumbnail showing two shirtless and muscled guys eating each other's tongues was enough to make my dick go hard inside my boxers. I gulped nervously before I clicked on the video and put my earphones on. My heart was beating like crazy in my stomach as the video loaded. I had always watched straight or lesbian porn for the past years, so I was a little scared about watching gay porn because I had never seen anything of the sort. It was something new for me.

Only the sight of the two guys kissing wildly while using their tongues, moaning and panting, rubbing their incredibly big dicks together, then taking them into their mouths as their moans got louder, had me stroking my own dick at a quick pace as my breathing increased. Imagining that I was one of the guys in the video turned me on way more, and it only took me like 5 minutes or less before I was cumming so hard all over my bare abs and chest, trying to hold in my moans so I didn't wake up my parents. When I was brought back from my orgasm, I quit the video before the guys could take their action any further, and just laid there, thinking about what I had done.