Underdawgs

Chapter 15

'I don't know, Jason.'

      'Can you talk to her, please, Gem?'

      'I already did.'

      'Yeah, but can you do it again? For me?'

      Gemma lets out a long breath leaning up against the lockers as she hugs her textbooks to her chest. 'Jason, I ...'

      'Please, she's been acting so weird these past few days – she isn't talking to me.'

      'She hasn't been talking to anyone.'

      'Except you.'

      Gemma gives a slight shrug. 'She hasn't said much. Just that after you left that night, she had a massive fight with Dianne and George.'

      'About me?'

      'Yeah, but about other stuff as well.'

      'Like what?' I ask, gently putting my hand on Gemma's arm.

      Gemma shrugs again. 'Like her grades and attitude to her parents, but mainly about you. She's pretty cut up ...'

      'Yeah, I know.'

      Lily has spent the last few days with her head down in class, concentrating on school work and not being her usual chirpy self. I'm amazed at the toll this one little conflict has taken on Lily, but I guess she isn't used to the kind of volatility that's the norm for me and the lads.

      'What should I do, Gem?'

      'I dunno. Talk to her, but do it soon. I'm sorry but I have to go to class – I'm already late. Good luck.' Gem kisses me on the cheek and heads down the corridor.

      I stand there, not knowing what to do. I'm scared that by losing my head I've done more damage to our relationship then I can fix. I love Lily, but I don't want to become a problem in her life. I'm going to make it easy for her. I decide I'm not going to fight or make her feel like she owes me anything.

                                                                                        ******

I meet Lily on the back oval and together we walk to a bench behind some trees and sit down. We just sort of sit there for a minute, staring off in opposite directions, her looking miserable and me just trying to work out what to say.

      'Lily, I'm sorry for what happened on Saturday between Dianne and me,' I blurt.

      Lily nods her head sadly.

      'I didn't mean to lose it like I did.'

      'I know, Jason.'

      'I'm really sorry. I got emotional and fucked things up again.'

      'Yeah, you did,' she agrees, not looking at me.

      A sharp pang stings my chest. I know this is it. 'I was a dick.'

      'You were.'

      'It's unacceptable.'

      'Yeah,' she mumbles, fiddling with her top.

      An intense rush of sadness washes over me. 'It's okay if you're having second thoughts about this whole thing.'

      'Okay ...'