Underdawgs

Chapter 20

I open the front door of the flat, squeezing past garbage bags full of empty bottles and rubbish heaped up by the door.

      Sarah is sitting on the lounge room floor, drawing.

      'Hey,' I say.

      'What happened to you?'

      'What do you mean?'

      Sarah looks me up and down. 'You look all dopey. Have you been drinking beers?'

      'Nah, nothin' like that.'

      'What then?'

      'Nothin'. What's with all the questions?'

      'You just look silly, that's all.'

      'What's with all the shit at the front door?'

      'Der! Me and Dad have been cleaning.'

      The whole flat is spotless. The windows are open, the dank smell and odours have gone, and light is streaming in.

      Robert emerges from the kitchen. 'Jason,' he acknowledges, but I ignore him and kneel down next to Sarah.

      'How's the homework coming along?' I ask her.

      'Great,' says Sarah enthusiastically. 'Dad's a really good teacher, Jason.'

      I glance towards Robert, who's leaning on the door frame, a smile on his lips.

      'How you been, son?' he tries again. The word 'son' sounds strange from his lips, as though he doesn't quite know what tone to use.

      I look him up and down, suspicious. I've known this man way too long to drop my guard in his presence, even if he does seem to be in a good mood. 'I'm all right,' I mumble. 'I was at a friend's house.'

      'A girl?' Robert stirs, winking at Sarah.

      Sarah bursts out laughing. 'He was, Dad,' she says. 'I met her, she's awesome. Her name's ...' But she stops when she sees the filthy look on my face.

      Robert just smirks.

      'So what's with all this?' I indicate the room around us.

      'I wunna turn over a new leaf, Jason,' Robert tells me, his face serious. 'I know things have been difficult the past couple of years, but I want to change that.'

      'Right.'

      'That's right. There are things I've done wrong, I'll admit, but I think we're all at the point now where we can move on.'

      'Move on?'

      I sit there, simmering, trying to control the contempt I feel for him. It's all very well to make mistakes and apologize for them later, but that didn't change the effect those mistakes have had on others – on Sarah and me.

      'So how about it, champ?' he offers tentatively. 'Can we forget old grievances and work together to become a happier, more functional household?'

      I search Robert's face. He seems to be serious, like he means it, and deep down I think he does.

      Sarah and Robert are both looking at me, waiting for an answer. I'm still suspicious about Robert – I've known him too long too believe his capable of any real change. But for Sarah's sake I'm willing to give it a go.

      'Yeah, okay.' I nod as Sarah grins and Robert's face relaxes into a smile. I'll have to monitor him closely, but maybe, just maybe, things might turn out okay.