Reviving A Dead Heart

Chapter 4 (Edited)

Some days have passed after Benjamin's visit. Aunt Sara and I have held the silent ritual. We haven't talked after she gave me those comforting words. These passed days. I battled with my own mind. The fact was hard to accept but now I have accepted it. Hudayfah is dead and he isn't coming back. Our child needs me to step up as a mother. I would do anything to save our child from the same fate as Hudayfah.

The child in my belly was my only support. It helped me to face my fear which was admitting Hudayfah's death. I fought my fears and now here I am. Motherhood really does wonders. I know a person who could help me. I hope that person has a solution because that is my only hope.

I walked to balcony. My gaze fell on car outside the building beside a tree. It has been there since Benjamin's visit. I wasn't stupid to believe that they were here for or protection. They were here to keep us encaged to make sure that we don't get away. I couldn't go out like this and I was in idhat too.

I picked up my phone and made a call to doctor Henry. The call was answered in first ring. "Mr's Khan."

"Doctor Henry." I acknowledged.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"No. I am actually not feeling good. Will you be able to visit me?" I asked.

"Can you give me specifics?" He asked.

"I am not so sure but I am feeling weird." I lied.

"I will be there as fast as I can." He answered back.

After call, I made my way downstairs. I took seat on dinning table.

Aunt Sara looked up at me. "You must be hungry. Would you like me to fix something for you?" She asked and I nodded.

The grand piano was in line of my vision. I could see it from here. I haven't played it for a while as I was scared of losing my senses again. I was facing nightmares at night since my mind accepted the reality. Every time in my dream my consciousness was playing the scene of his death.

In that dream every sense of mine was heightened. I could hear the shrill ringing of bullet being fired, the thud of Hudayfah's body falling on ground. I could vividly see the scarlet blood on snowy ground. I could taste Hudayfah's metallic blood on my tongue and I could feel the coldness and stiffness from his body seeping in my core as I touched him.

It was a torture to go through it all every night. Sometime in my dream I also could feel his soul leaving his body.

She placed the plates of food on table and took a seat herself. I started to eat  slowly. In middle of eating. I asked her.

"Why didn't you inform me about his Janaza? I could have given him his last ghusal." The regret was evident in my voice.

"You weren't in right state of mind." She said with guilt.

"But still.." I said.

"I am truly sorry for it beta but nothing can be done now. I did what felt necessary at moment." She explained and I just nodded my head.

There was ring of intercom. "It must be doctor Henry." I announced as I wrapped the scarf tightly around my head.

"Why is he here?" She asked in confusion as I already had my weekly checkup.

"He may have a solution." I answered.

Doctor Henry entered in and Aunt Sara greeted him and asked him if he needed any refreshment as she offered him a seat on table.

"Mrs Khan you look fine." He stated.

"Yes, I am." I admitted.

"I don't understand. Why you called me then?" He asked.