"I...I like that g..guy you know?" I pause suddenly and then resume mixing her tea without saying a word before placing the spoon back on the tray and carrying it to her where she is propped up on the large bed.
"Which guy mom?" I question even though I vaguely suspect it to be Brian she's talking about. Anyway, it could be someone else, you never know. I gently sit beside her on the bed and place the tray on her lap. She clasps her hands together and says a short prayer before returning her attention to me.
"T..that y..young man that c...came here the other day. I think B...Brian?" She smiles at me, taking a sip from the mug and returning it to the tray.
"Oh!" I know for a fact that my exclamation is just for dramatic effect because I knew who she was talking about from the beginning, but you know, it's good to be dramatic sometimes. "Yeah Brian that's his name." I smile back at her and remember how he helped me make mom's recipe. I sincerely thought all guys were horrible cooks but obviously, Brian has proved me wrong.
He might even be as good as mom and I chuckle softly at the thought.
"Y..you like him d..don't you?" I blink, as my thoughts race back to the somewhat conversation we were having before I zoned out.
"What?" I innocently ask because I truly didn't hear what she said since I was too busy thinking about Brian.
"I s..said you like him d..don't you?" I don't actually know what to answer to that but I assume she's asking platonically even though she doesn't seem to but I just answer.
"Well.... Um yeah you could say that. I mean he's a nice guy and a good friend." I shrug hoping she'd leave it at that but something is telling me I'll be disappointed.
"N..no, I m..mean you really like him." She says it more like a statement than a question and wiggles her brows at me and it looks really funny considering she just had a stroke about a month ago and half of her face is a bit out of place.
I surpress the urge to laugh, so instead I just roll my eyes and look at her with a dry smirk.
"Really mom?" I scoff.
"I am s..serious honey. I s..see the way y..you look at him y..you know. " My face flushes and I'm beginning to get really uncomfortable having this conversation with my mom.
"That is so not true. I do not look at him in any way in particular." I defend throwing up my hands.
"Okay, okay, w..whatever m..makes you s..sleep at night." I give her an incredulous look and shake my head in disbelief. I know I should feel bad for making her talk this much but I seem to even be the exhausted one here.
"How is it that you always manage to be so sarcastic; 'whatever makes me sleep at night?' " I mimic her words from earlier with a naughty face (my eyes turned up, my mouth turned down as I shake my head from side to side kind of naughty). Instead of replying, she just throws her head back and lets out a throaty laugh. Even the way her laugh sounds is slurred now but laughter is not in the sound - it's in the atmosphere that causes it to happen and also the atmosphere it creates when it happens.
"But I'm really serious baby." She peers at me from the rim of the mug as she sips the content slowly.
"I appreciate your concern mom but I don't think I'll be dating anytime soon let alone getting married because I'm sure that's what you have in mind." I smile softly and my heart might have just shattered into a million pieces when I let those words slip because as much as I don't like to admit it, I really would love to have someone that'll go through life with me, someone who would love me for me and who would cherish every bit of me even in a romantic way.
I know I look and act strong all the time but I'm not at all. Most times, I would just cry myself to sleep and hope that when I wake up it'll all be okay but it never is.
YOU ARE READING
The Illuminant
Spiritual~Featured in Wattpad Editor's choice list~ ~Featured in Editor's picks list: (Wattpad's handpicked favorites)~ Maya's dad died when she was four, so she was raised by her mother. Unfortunately, Maya's mother couldn't give her daughter everything. I...
