Like He Never Left

chapter 15

I've gotten really into Star Wars over the last couple of months, and I was watching a bad lip reading video of the original trilogy, and the songs that they come up with just absolutely kill me! One of the lyrics to one of the songs is "Every day I worry all day," and I relate so fuckin hard XD. Anyway, happy reading!... maybe

*EDIT* Hey guys, so I made a mistake while writing these couple chapters because my dumbass forgot SueEllen is pregnant. Idk why exactly I didn't remember. I had to fix it ASAP because SueEllen is not the kind of person who gets hammered while aware she's pregnant. So yeah. Enjoy maybe? I'm sorry it kinda sucks, but I'll fix it when I finish the book and go back to do some revising.

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Josie's POV

They say that the more you do something, the easier it becomes. 

So then why the fuck is it so much harder to get over the devil reincarnated this time around?

I've gone on for two months since the day he left, and there isn't a day that goes by without me thinking of him. It's not like I try to, and I don't think about him until I realize how long I've gone and then I start doing it again. And what sucks is that it'll be little discreet things that trick me too. Like a certain color blue, the way the sunset falls over the trees, the way the truck sounds when its wheels drive over a gravel road. 

I wish he would have never come back. 

I can't help but wonder what he's doing, what he's thinking. Yeah, I'll admit it. I want to know if he thinks of me. 

I doubt it. I really do. There's no reason for him to, especially since he's got—what's her name?—Brooke. Fuck. Right. 

"Gah!" I groan, pushing my hands into my face. 

It's my one day off and I can't even enjoy it. 

I've been lazing around on the couch all day, even though I was supposed to go meet the girls to go dancing about five minutes ago. I just don't have the mental energy to fake a brave face today. I just want to wallow in self-pity and cry. 

And this is exactly what my father feared. He always knew that Colt and I were too dependent on each other. Well, I guess me more than him from the way that things turned out. I mean, I didn't even want my license because I knew he'd be around to drive me everywhere for fuck's sake. Had it not been my dad pushing me to become more independent, I don't know how I would've taken this. Not that my father didn't like Colt. He thought of him as a second child, but he always told me:

"Now you listen here, baby girl. One day, a man is going to come and ask you to marry him. You need to be prepared in case he becomes an asshole. You need a good job to fall back on, and you need your own damn license so you can run him over your goddamn self."

And I'd always listened to him, but I never once would have thought that it was ever going to happen, much less between Colt and me. 

And then Colt did leave, and it was all my father could do to not say 'I told you so,' and though he was pissed at Colt, he never let me see it much. He was always there for me and understood that bashing Colt didn't make me feel any better, unlike my mother. Now that Colt's gone this time around, my mother has just been telling me what a piece of shit he turned out to be. It's hard for me to agree because he wasn't always like that, and it's hard to slander that good part of him that I knew once. 

I look to my loyal dog, whose head is propped up on my thigh, and ruffle the space between his ears, smiling at him. 

"Maybe I'll find someone to dance with tonight?" I tell him. He licks his nose and his eyebrows droop. "Yeah, probably not. I've gotta get up buddy."