The Day I Realized (Soukoku) [HIATUS]

Blue lilacs

~Dazai's pov~

I left the agency early again and started making my way to a flower shop nearby. I bought a pouget of blue french lilacs with a note.

すぐに良くなる
Sugu ni yoku naru
Get better soon

After that, i kept walking until i got in front of the hospital. I hated that place, it was full of bad memories. I sighed and stepped inside. I told the reception lady who i am and who I'm visiting and she told me which floor, but i didn't listen, i already knew that. I come here twice a day, the same time, to visit the same person as always. Chuuya Nakahara was sleeping on 4th floor, in surgical department, room 8.

I knocked and walked in. His roomates were awake, talking with people who were visiting them. I sat next to his bed, placed the flowers on a table and looked at him. The hospital had no special room free for him, everything was full since the war started. I stroked his beautiful soft hair and tears started streaming down my face. I wiped them away and smiled. I had to stay strong, for my ginger.

Doctors said he was very lucky, that he didn't break his spine. Yet, he was still asleep. I sighed buried my face into the sheets. I could feel that other people sometimes looked at me, i couldn't tell if they we're secretly laughing at me or actually felt sorry. I didn't really care. I grabbed his hand, which was covered in bandages. He was really skinny, since he couldn't eat.

,,Mommy, why is that man sad?" a little girl asked. ,,Elizabeth, what did i tell you about pointing at people?" her mother said
,,Not to do it."
,,Good, now apologize."
,,It's alright, children are curious sometimes." i smiled.

,,Sir? Can i ask you why are you sad?" the girl came closer. ,,It's 'may'" her mother said again. ,,But i thought it's april?" the girl gave her confused face.
,,Never mind." she changed the topic. ,,Sir, you still didn't tell me why are you sad." she looked back at me. ,,Because someone really important to me got hurt." i said, giving her a soft smile.
,,I'm sorry for that." the girl said.
,,It's alright, it's not your fault."

,,He looks gorgeous. I really like his hair." the girl said in amazement. I smiled and nodded.
,,I like them too, but he never let me touch it." the girl chuckled

,,I didn't introduce myself, did i?" the girl asked. ,,I'm Elizabeth Midford but you can call me Lizzie." she smiled, giving me her tiny hand.
,,Dazai Osamu." i shook it. Her eyes widened. ,,Are you that Dazai Osamu who works in ADA?" she asked in excitement. ,,How did you know?" i was curious. ,,I go to logic club after school and they told me about the agency. I love solving mysteries!" she squeaked, which made me chuckle.

,,Do you think i could join the agency when i grow up?" she wishpered. ,,Mommy doesn't want me to. She says I'm a girl and girls don't belong on crime scene."
,,Let me tell you something." i wishpered into the girl's ear.
,,There are girls in the agency. And if you want to be in ADA, you need to be gifted. But there are some people, who aren't gifted at all. They're just really smart."
,,Like the detective Ranpo?" she asked.
,,Just like him." i smiled and pat her head. ,,So i do have a chance, even when I'm not gifted?"
,,Of course." i smiled

,,Elizabeth! We're going home."
,,Yes mommy. Sayonara grandpa! Sayonara mister Dazai!" she waved her hand and so did i. As she left, my smile was gone again. I carefully held my beautiful ginger's hand, trying to not hurt him. I sat here like this for few hours, other people were already leaving and saying goodbye to their friends or family members. After a while, a nurse came to tell me that visiting hours are over. I kissed the male's hand and smiled. ,,Please don't make me wait.." i said while leaving the room. I started making my way trough the hall, when i saw someone familiar coming in.

,,Atsushi?"
,,A-ah, hey Dazai!" he smiled nervously. ,,What are you doing here?" i asked ,,Oh, you know. Visiting a friend." he said. Why is he so nervous? ,,Alright? Well, see you tommorow i guess." i said before leaving. ,,Yeah, see ya!" Atsushi said and went into some room.

Two weeks passed and i still come to visit Chuuya. Everytime i brought a pouget of blue lilacs. I remember he loved them. I always talked to him, i didn't care he couldn't hear me. Sometimes i met Lizzie with her mother, visiting her grandfather. We always talked about stuff that happend in the agency or at school where Lizzie was going to.

One day i came to visit my precious ginger again and i noticed that Lizzie's grandfather was released from the hospital. That means i won't see her anymore. But it's whatever now. I placed new fresh pouget of blue lilacs on the table next to the bed and watched Chuuya sleep. I might sound like a creep right now, but he looks so beautiful when he's sleeping. But i didn't want him to sleep now. I wanted him to be awake, i didn't care if he'll hate me. I just wanted to know he's ok.

I met Atsushi in the hospital hall again. When i think about it, i started seeing him here more and more often. He always brought some snack with him, today it was a strawberry chocolate bar. It kinda looked like he's visiting Ranpo, but he's in the agency building right now. It's getting kinda suspicious, but it's Atsushi's thing.

The next day i came to visit again. I always come before and after work. I knocked and opened the door, not expecting what i just saw. It was Lizzie with her mother.

,,Lizzie? What are you doing here?" i asked. ,,Dazai! I'm sorry i didn't tell you anything about visiting your friend. I just thought you'll be lonely, since he's sleeping." she apologized. ,,It's alright, i was just surprised." i said.

,,Dazai, look!" she happily pointed at Chuuya's hair. She tied it into a braid. ,,Wow, it's so adorable." i praised her. ,,I've already said this once, but i really like his hair." she said. ,,Daddy never lets me near a male with long hair. He said they're sluts. Your friend doesn't seem like one tho."

Then i noticed her mother had a bandage on her left cheek and Lizzie's hands looked like someone was dragging her by force. ,,What's your father like?" i asked. ,,He isn't a bad man, if that's what you think. He's just interesting. But he loves me. He loves mommy. At least that's what he always says." she gave me a smile.

,,Elizabeth, we really need to go now, your father will be home soon and i need to start making lunch." her mother called. ,,Alright, coming!" she said and gave me a big hug before she left. ,,Sayonara Dazai!" she waved and left. ,,Sir." i didn't notice her mother was still here. ,,Can you promise me something?" she asked. ,,Depens on what it is." i said. ,,Can you promise me to take care of my daughter if something happens to me? She really likes you, you seem like a good person to me." ,,Oh, of course. That won't be problem for me." i said. ,,But now let's hope you'll be alright, miss." i smiled. ,,Yeah, let's hope so. But war is war sir." she sighed. ,,Mommyyyyyy!" Lizzie called of boredom. ,,Come on! What's taking you so long?" ,,Sorry Elizabeth, I'll be right there!" her mother said. ,,Well, hope to see you again." she smiled. ,,Yeah, that would be nice." i said.
,,Sayonara, sir." she said
,,Sayonara, miss." i smiled. Lizzie chuckled and left, holding her mother's hand. ,,You've made a friend." i smiled at the ginger. ,,See, it's not that hard." i carefully held his hand. I looked at clock on the wall.
07:36
,,Shoot, I'll be late." i mumbled and stroked his hair. ,,Well, sayonara, Chuuya." i smiled.

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This one is a little bit shorter and may be confusing, so I'm sorry for that. I also want to ask if i should start using these '-san', '-kun', '-chan' and '-sama'. Let me know in the comments. Also i hope you enjoyed this part, thanks for reading💖💖💖💖🍪🍪🍪🍪🖖

Also hello to my online friend Lilac who's not reading this but it's whatever -3-

Edit: just changed the song lol