𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 | 𝖼.𝗌 𝗑 𝗃.𝗐

t̸h̸r̸e̸e̸

warning: features themes some readers may find disturbing

the next day

waking up early the next morning, wooyoung felt a familiar ache run though his arm. as he lifted it he saw the dried blood flaking and falling onto the bed sheets from where he had given into his dark thoughts the night before.

he wasn't worthy of receiving help, he'd thought. there were other people who deserved it more than him. and all that would happen would be that dr. choi would hear his story and hate him for it, and tell him not to come back.

wincing from the pain, he rolled out of bed and went to make some breakfast. it was 8am. he had five hours to prepare himself before he had to meet dr. choi. he also reminded himself to take along his plushie - it was a panda that he'd had since he was younger and it still brought him comfort even now. he smiled briefly when he remembered that the doctor also owned a plushie.

he wondered what the doctor would be like. it was important that he was able to click with him or there was no chance he'd open up. not that there was really any chance anyway. he just wanted to go and get the hour over and done with so he could tell yunho he'd tried.

after some hours, he resigned himself to get ready for the session which he would attend, reluctantly, at 1pm. as he dressed himself in a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans - on one of the hottest days of the year - it occured to him that dr. choi may ask him about self-harming. but he could just lie, it's not like he could get up and look under his sleeves himself.

he caught the bus to the doctors' office with it being the other side of town, playing nervously with the wire of his earphones as he looked out at the moving view. he had packed his plushie in his bag, just in case. the anxiety was almost too much as he tried to breathe slowly to calm himself down, but was interrupted by a text notification from yunho.

yunho📚
good luck today woo. let me know how it goes 😊

wooyoung brought his hand up to his mouth and bit the skin around his fingernails. he was going to let yunho down and this brought him even more anxiety.

as he arrived at the doctors' office he looked around for the room dr. choi was using. wooyoung was very close to just turning around and going home, but at that moment, he saw the doctor's name adorn the door to the left. just once, he thought to himself. just one time and then it's done.

with a deep breath he knocked on the door before him and took a step back to wait for an answer. it was quiet for a few seconds and then the door opened to reveal dr. choi.

wooyoung looked up slowly, tying to avoid eye contact, but the view his eyes were met with caused him to stare instead. dr. choi must have only been around twenty-five. he was tall and had long dark hair which grew into a kind of mullet at the back. his features were perfectly chiselled and two adorable dimples appeared when he smiled at wooyoung. he was breathtaking.

"hi, wooyoung?" he spoke.

wooyoung's breath hitched in his throat as he tried to get words out. "y-yes"

"great, come on in!" the doctor said brightly. "take a seat on the couch"

wooyoung did as he was told and perched himself on the sofa opposite the one dr. choi clearly used.

"my name is dr. choi, but you can call me san. is wooyoung what you like to be called?" he asked politely.

"yes, dr... um, san"

san smiled and shuffled the papers in his lap. wooyoung took this opportunity to take san in again. there was no way he could divulge his ugly life to someone so beautiful.

"did you bring the plushie?" asked san.

"oh-oh, um, yes. he's in my bag"

san let out a small laugh, "well bring him out if you'd like"

wooyoung nodded shyly and went to unzip his bag.

"I forgot mine today" san continued as wooyoung sat back into the sofa with his plushie on his lap.

"so! wooyoung, it's nice to meet you. how old are you if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm twenty three" wooyoung answered.

"okay, and was it your idea to come here today?"

"no. it was my friend, yunho's idea"

san nodded, "and why do you think he thought you would benefit from being here?" he asked.

wooyoung hesitated. "...there's a lot of reasons"

san took in wooyoung's heavy clothing for such a warm day and registered what one of the reasons may be. he'd seen it many times before.

"could you tell me about any of them?" he asked carefully.

wooyoung looked to the ground and clung to the plushie even tighter. "...I can't..."

"wooyoung, I'm not here to judge you. you wouldn't believe the things I've heard. I don't judge anyone, I just try to help them"

still nothing from the younger boy. so san tried an aversion tactic. "do you have a name for him?" he asked, hinting towards the plushie.

wooyoung looked up. this was a question he could answer. "he's called namsun"

"that's a great name!" san exclaimed. "how long have you had him?"

"since I was thirteen... he's been through a lot with me"

"well it's good to have things like that to comfort us when we need it" san said gently.

the two both fell silent for a few seconds before san carefully continued, "I really want to help you, wooyoung. if you'll let me. can you tell me why you're here?"

wooyoung's face turned serious. "I-I did a really b-bad thing" he stuttered.

"what did you do, wooyoung?"

"I killed somebody"