The Beloved One!

Extra 09: "I am not her."

Ashnah sighed, closing the book that she had been reading about the teaching practices in Emphraim Kingdom. She leaned her back against the soft library's chair. Right now, in her state, she couldn't focus.

Today, her had parents had talked with her in the lounge room. They had wanted her to know about 'everything' before word around the Estate had spread. About her parents being actually married. About her being a legitimate child. About her father having a marriage contract, thinking that her and her mother had been with Brahma. About her father divorcing Tazanna. About her having a younger sister named Kalila. They had provided 'explanations' for 'everything' to for even a young child could comprehend.

Ashnah, she didn't know what to think. She had first pondered about how her actions had broken up a perfect family. Then she had found out from Maria that the contract marriage had also been true; that Anzor and Tazanna had only been putting up a front of being husband and wife; and that Kalila was not Anzor's biological child. At first before, Maria had even mentioned it, she did have some suspicions about the last.

But still she didn't know what to exactly feel. All she knew was, it didn't help her feel any better knowing this. To Tazanna, Anzor was a husband. To Kalila, Anzor was a father. They had been a family.

It was great that Tazanna's death had been avoided. But in return, Tazanna had went through a divorce and Kalila would be experiencing pain from her parents' divorce instead from that of her mother's death.

Her actions had caused people to suffer and she in return had benefited greatly.

Obtaining benefits from actions. The child clenched and unclenched her hands as the smiling face of the woman she didn't want to recall appear in her mind. Those were her ways along with her not caring about who would undergo pain as long she got what she had wanted.

She would be anything but her.

She was not her.

She couldn't help apologizing. "Duchess Tazanna, Kalila,.... I am ... sorry."

••••

"Ash, what's the matter? Is it because of what your daddy and I talked to you about before?" Ellen asked, deep concern in her amethyst eyes.

Sitting on her mother's lap, Ashnah just shook her head and embraced Ellen. She didn't say a word.

Ellen stroked her gently head. This was the first time she had seen her daughter like this. What had exactly happened to her?