if we survive

t h i r t y o n e

r o r y

The weight of fear I'd carried for four years finally became two times lighter as soon as the bullet exploded Anon's chest. I was living with the threat of Anon for four years, and now it was gone. Except, I couldn't help but cry. He was the only person I had for a long time. He was like my caretaker, he wasn't always bad but he'd get upset and lash out from time to time. He only scared me because of the amount of times he tried to kill me. He abused me but I couldn't help but believe he cared about me enough to protect me. To this day I don't know why he kidnapped me, I don't know why he chose me but I do know he protected me. I was alive right now because of Anon.

I crawled over to his body while Ash and Adam exchanged words. His eyes were wide open and his face was splattered with his own blood, it was similar to Adam's. I slowly closed Anon's eyes and used my own shirt to wipe the blood from his face so that I was a little more comfortable looking at him. Tears were falling silently from my eyes but I didn't dare make a sound. Honestly, I'm not even sure how long I was sitting there but at one point Ash sat down beside me and hugged my arm.

"I'll help you bury him." He whispered. I let the offer linger for a moment before I nodded. "He might've been a bad guy but he still deserves to be buried." Ash added and stood to his feet. I did the same and without another word, we picked up Anon's body and stumbled out of the medical cabin silently. We walked through the camp, we ignored the survivors staring at us with concern. The only survivor I even noticed was Zac. He saw Ash and I saw his eyes widen before he broke out into grins and giggles. I smiled back sadly and nodded him over, happily he limped towards us. His ankle was wrapped up but it didn't seem to hurt him too much so the sprain must not have been severe. The smell of blood didn't seem to bother him when he approached us, I don't even think he knew who Anon was.

"I knew you were alive. I knew you could survive!" He exclaimed to Ash, not dropping his smile.

"I'm alive, and boy do I have stories for you." Ash said dropping one of Anon's legs just to ruffle Zac's hair. Zac's eyes lit up even more when Ash mentioned new stories. We continued to carry Anon to the garden, Zac was following closely behind. Ash helped me dig the grave and create the stone with "Anonymous" written on it. Anon wouldn't tell anyone his real name, everyone called him Anon which was short for Anonymous. Eventually, Adam, Colman, and Ethan, joined Ash, Zac, and I by Anon's grave as we lowered him inside. We were all silent until Anon's body was completely covered and he was officially buried.

"Where's Adrian? We could bury him too if you'd like." I said to Adam. He shot me a death glare.

"If that means you'll be touching him then no, I bury my family and you bury yours." Adam moved to Ash's side. Suddenly, Zac looked up at him and held out his hand like he was a grown man sealing a business deal.

"Hi, I'm Zac." He stated with a big smile. Adam scoffed and couldn't help but grin, he shook Zac's hand carefully.

"I'm Adam."

Zac scrunched his nose and dropped Adam's hand. "I don't know you. Do you know me?"

Adam shook his head. "I don't know you but I'm Ash's friend."

"I live with him. He saved my life you know." Ash smiled and kneeled down to Zac's eye level. "He's in those stories I have for you." Ash reached into his pocket and pulled out a small dirty and torn notebook. He gave it to Zac and ruffled his hair.

"I have one too." I stated quietly. Ash turned to me. "I have a journal too."

Zac smiled once again and looked up at me hopefully. "Can I have it?"

"Maybe, one day." I said with a shrug. His expression dropped a bit, I almost felt bad for not handing it over. "Tell you what, you let me know when you've read Ash's and I'll give you mine."

Zac smiled again and nodded. He turned to Adam. "Can I see your house? Ash said he lives with you, can I see it?"

Adam looked at Ash and Ash looked at me. They wanted my permission.

"Yeah, you can go but be home by nightfall." I smiled. Zac grinned and without a warning he wrapped his arms around my legs.

"Thank you, Rory. We'll bring him back before nightfall." Ash nodded. At my nickname, I grinned. Something told me he didn't hate me as much as he had earlier today. I didn't know why, I didn't know what changed, but the way he looked at me told me it was different now. Maybe becoming a lurker for five minutes changed his heart too.

"Ethan, help me with Adrian would you?" Adam said and nudged Ash's shoulder as he and Ethan left the garden. Colman sniffed and walks over to Ash who wrapped his arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm comfortingly.

"If you don't pistol whip me, kidnap me, or separate me from my friends again then I might visit every once in awhile." Ash said. "Rory, I did some bad stuff too, so I'm giving you a chance to earn my forgiveness. Maybe you could be my big brother again."

I almost burst out into tears right then and there but I held it together and just nodded. He smiled and walked away with Colman still beside him. He nodded to Zac and grabbed his hand so that he would follow closely back to  Camp Beta.