Warning this book is rough. Not edited.
We wanted privacy. We wanted a normal relationship with no high expectations. But that's hard when you have a whole fan base keeping tabs on your relationship. With that comes no privacy and very high expecta...
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It's funny how one second you're over the moon with happiness, all it takes is a second for all that happiness to be stolen from you.
I feel nothing...
I feel numb like I'm somehow not connected to this world, anymore.
I feel like the universe is laughing at me, wanting to see me drop down onto my knees and surrender.
I'm constantly getting thrown into thunderstorms that get harder and harder to fight each time.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Without him, I'm nothing.
Just a body with no soul and no meaning.
Just a beating heart but with no blood pumping through giving me hope, giving me life.
I want to scream at God and ask him why he's doing this to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
A knock on the door drifts me away from my thoughts, "Can I come in?" he says softly.
I nod, not looking up and still keeping my gaze on the floor.
Footsteps appear in my line of vision, my chin is gripped softly and pulled up to meet his gaze, "Everything is going to be fine, we're going to get through this."
You might, but I won't.
This is like the last tick... when is my heart finally going to stop beating because of heartbreak?
"I don't think so," I whisper as tears run down my face, I feel one land on my upper quivering lip, I lick it with a grimace at the saltiness.
"Don't say that hey, look at me."
No, I don't want to look at anyone in the eye, I can't.
Muttering up the courage I say through my body's sobs, "I want, and need to be alone right now."
He frowns, "I'll be right outside when you want to talk."
I nod unable to find words, glancing at the palms of my hands and seeing red and puffy half-moons indents in my skin.
"Why?" I choke out, "Why me?"
"Miss, are you Lola Wilston?" A doctor with blonde hair and glasses steps into the room with a clipboard in his hand.
I slowly stand up, my muscles winching due to the sudden movement, "Yes that's me," I shake his extending hand.
"You can call me Grant, I'll be the doctor tending to this case."
I nod and wrap my arms around my torso.
Grant sits in a rolly chair in the corner of the room and stares at me fiercely, "Have you've been checked out yet?"
