Fire & Desire Of A BBW

Nights Like This

Hello World, I'm Pearl. I'm 19 living in the middle of NY with my mom, probably somewhere sleeping. Since being fresh out of high school and stepping into the real world, I've been laid up in my room doing absolutely nothing, job hopping, munching on snacks and binge watching random Netflix shows. Yeah, I have friends and all but I'm that one friend who bails out on plans last min. I'm working on being a better friend, you know? It's nothing like being the "they ain't gonna show up anyway" one out of the group. Then eventually your friends stop inviting you out to do things.  This summer I made a promise to get out more and live my best life!

Ever since quitting my "big girl job" and deciding to live off my savings, my schedule has been way off. My daily routine consists of sleeping all the way until the midafternoon due to being up all night and scrolling through social media while in bed. 

I finally get the strength to rise up out of bed, I instantly pick up my phone to check the group chat and see what everyone's been up to all day. Everyone is talking about going to this carnival that opens up around this time in our city. I was kind of hesitant because I haven't been outside in a while, which always makes me anxious for some reason. Also, living in New York can be sometimes dangerous.  But then I thought to myself... I can't keep making up these excuses not to go out with my friends and then cry later to my mom about how bored I am. I text "sounds like a plan, let's all link up and go!" 

While waiting for a response I start to think about what I would wear and then check the weather app. I'm the friend that takes forever to get dressed so I have to start about 3 hours before its actually time to meetup. Sometimes the way I plan my outfits in my head doesn't look so good when I finally put them on. I look in my closet for my favorite shapewear to give me a snatched look, It just adds a little razzle dazzle to my outfits. My phone dings and everyone agrees to meet up near the train station near my building. 

It's 1 pm now so that means I have plenty of time to try on outfits and overthink as usual. I get on Pinterest to look for outfit Inspo. I haven't been out in a while so I'm a bit rusty on putting something together.

After digging in my closet for what seemed like forever, I finally find something cute enough to wear. One thing about me is that I have to dress up! I don't care if I'm going to the grocery store or Chanel store, plus you just never know who you might run into. I lay my outfit out on the bed and start spraying perfumes that I want to wear. While doing so I text the group chat "what's everyone wearing?" 

Faith replies "something to make my booty look big of course ".     Aaliyah replies "you know I gotta pop out tonight after being M.I.A"  I send a gif and continue getting ready. 

It used to be more than just me, Faith and Aaliyah you know, but everyone just fell off, I guess. One thing about high school is friends grow apart... no love lost though. But us 3? in this together FOREVER.
I Finally make up my mind on the perfume, and what hairstyle I'm wearing. I hop in the shower, and let the anxiety release from my mind and body. I give myself a prep talk and made a promise to not overthink today and just be cool and collected. I finish my shower and hop into my pink heated robe; the warmness made me let out a satisfying groan. I sit down at my vanity and get to my favorite part, MAKEUP! I love all things about makeup, evening out my skin tone with the perfect foundation, putting on concealer to make my undereye pop, making my eyebrows so perfect and neat. I just love it! In a world full of "I don't need makeup, I'm not ugly" ass women. I'm still gone do it!  As I'm letting the glue dry on my lashes, I turn on my YouTube playlist. Music really sets the tone for me. CityGirls, Meg Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj, KALI, SZA and all in between is essential when preparing for a girls night out!