Wings Of Despair - Book 1

Chapter 10

Greg blankly stared at the bedroom ceiling, the orange hue from the sunset blitzed through a small crack in the curtains. He laid there, alone. Alone with his thoughts.

Yuto left earlier that morning to complete yet another Cupid job to gain more experience and money. Not like he needed more, he had as much money he could ever hope for. Greg felt envious. He wouldn't have made the amount Yuto had if he kept working in that shithole he used to call work. He felt envious Yuto didn't have to work six, even seven days a week to barely scrape through the bills for the week. He felt envious.

He couldn't comprehend how some of the worst people he knew were the most privileged and successful; with all of the money they could ever want, but don't know what to do with. However, his thoughts about all of them changed, Yuto helped him a lot in the long run. Greg didn't have the energy to sob, he just let his tears bottle in his eyes. It completely blurred his vision, but he didn't care. No one did.

Greg felt dead inside, he almost felt like giving up entirely. After the whole day wasted laying on his bed, he had decided to get up. He let his bare feet thump against the floor rather harshly, as he forced his legs to drag across the room. He entered the living room and dug through their bag of clothes. Yuto must had taken down the laundry hanging from outside, because most of the clothes were folded either in or near the bags. Jeez, Greg forgot he left them outside.

Greg stumbled upon his green sweater and maroon sweatpants, the same clothes he lent Yuto when they first met. That cheered him up a little, as he took the garments with him. After that, he walked back to his room in order to change privately – even if he had no need to, it was almost instinct. Once he had successfully changed, he went outside, where the balcony was situated.

"Huh. Did my words finally get to you, big man?"

Greg didn't reply. He went towards the tables and stood on top of them. He reached for the gutter and barely succeeded to pull himself up, then crawled towards the ridge. He sat down and crossed his legs, gazing over the beautiful cast of colours created by the sun.

"It's so gorgeous," Greg pointed out. "isn't it?"

"I guess so."

A good ten minutes of basking in the remains of the warm sun did the voice speak up again.

"What's it like to feel? To be alive?"

"It feels pretty shit. You can only live if you have money."

"You mentioned that thing before, 'money'. But in all honesty, I have no idea what that is." The voice questioned, completely butchering the pronunciation of the word 'money'.

"It's either plastic or digital money; you use it to survive."

The voice contemplated the answer. "Now I somewhat understand your hatred for the concept. That's dumb."

Greg chuckled. "Yeah, it is."

An awkward breeze filled the air, as if one anticipated for the other to speak.

"So, does it really feel like shit? Because I beg to differ when you're around that other person... Yuto? Yeah, you surely can't feel like shit then." The voice trailed on, genuinely curious – naive, if you may.

"You're right. I think you know already."

"I do, you're 'in love' or some crap. You've thought it so many times. I want you to tell me how that feels. To love and to be loved."

Greg flushed. He had honestly forgotten about the voice being able to hear his every thought. "Well, it's when you get a fluttery feeling in your chest, and your entire body feels like its gonna combust from how happy you feel around them. The comforting feeling when you know someone is there for you. You feel important, relevant, and wanted. It's the urge to keep going for them. It doesn't have to be romantic feelings either, you can experience these feelings towards different types of relationships. For example: family, friends-"