What am I to you? // Corpse Husband

14. Fall

Tuesday 1.31pm

"Mrs Kim?" I knock again. I'm worried now. "Mrs Kim can you hear me?" I'm sure I can hear her inside and I run to the building supervisor's apartment which is on the ground floor.

"Hi sir." I greet out of breath the short man in his doorway. "I'm sorry to bother you but I think Mrs Kim is in danger at number 402."

"Oh no! Let me grab the keys."

"I can hear her inside but I don't think she can get to the door."

"Let's go!" His keys in hand, we run back to her apartment and he opens quickly.

As I rush in, I find her laying on the floor, seemingly crawling towards her bedroom, conscious and definitely in pain.

"Call an ambulance." I shout to the man. "Mrs Kim did you fall?"

"I fell and I can't get up again. My leg really hurts and my phone is in the bedroom. I couldn't get to it."

"It's okay Mrs Kim we're here now. You're safe."

I suddenly notice dried blood on her temple.

"How long ago did you fall?"

"I don't... I don't remember."

"Did you hit your head?"

"Mmh... Maybe?"

"Do you know what day it is?"

"It's Tuesday. Why are you here Mina? You were supposed to come this afternoon."

"Mrs Kim, it's the afternoon."

God. She must have passed out. I just hope she's gonna be okay.

"Do you want me to call someone?"

"My grandson please."

"Sure. What is he saved under on your phone?"

"Seojoon."

Rushing to her bedroom I find her phone on her dresser. Trying to work out the spelling, I am thankful that there are not many numbers saved in and I find it pretty quickly.

"Annyeong Halmeoni." Say what?!?

"Hi. Sorry it's not your grandma. It's Mina, her carer."

"Hi Mina. Is everything okay?"

"She fell and is hurt. We're waiting for the paramedics."

"Oh god. Is she conscious?"

"She is. I think she banged her head but not sure how long ago. She thought it was still morning.

"Okay. Thanks for calling. No point in me rushing over as I am already at the hospital. Can you call me once you get there and I will meet you."

"Of course. Don't worry too much. She's a tough cookie." He chuckles but I can hear the concern in his voice.

"See you soon."

"Bye."

As I hold her hand sitting on the floor, too scared to move her, the paramedics arrive. I explain everything I know and they put her carefully on a stretcher before taking her in the ambulance.

"Mina my dear, can you stay with me?"

"Of course, I'm not leaving you."

She seems reassured but I can tell she's still pretty worried.

As soon as we arrive at the hospital, I jump out of the ambulance and see him, barely recognisable in his scrubs, waiting at the doors.

"I was just gonna call you."

"Thanks. I had to be there when she arrived."

The wheeled stretcher comes out and she sees him, smiling as if he was bringing peace to her heart.

"Ah Seojoonie! I fell."

"I know Halmeoni, Mina told me." We follow her and the team in.

"Mina, sweetie, you're staying right?"

"If you need me to yes. I don't have any plans today but to spend it with you. You were supposed to tell me all about your days as a dancer."

"I will. I will.I won't be able to show you my moves but I can still teach you." He smiles at our little conversation.

I'm just glad she is being distracted.

"Right Mrs Kim, we need to take you for an X-ray and an MRI. Need to check that bump of yours okay?" The paramedic interrupts.

"I'll be waiting for you Mrs Kim."

"Thank you sweetie."

Smiling at me with insistence, I guess grateful, he then accompanies her through the doors as I stand there, hoping she's gonna be okay. Looking around, I spot a row of seats and get as comfortable as I can on hard plastic furniture.

How did today turn out like this? At least it's distracting me from the gloomy way I have been feeling so far, wondering if I made the right decision. I don't know if I did.

Should I have tried to convince him that I was the right option for him? That it was okay to be happy? No. No it's a journey he needs to take alone. If I try to convince him, he might confuse his feeling for me, wanting to be nice because he cares about me but not really being true to himself. He needs to work it out alone, without being influenced by how I feel... but that also means that I could have lost him already.

I miss him so much. And yes, I feel like a child who's new favourite toy has been taken away. He was everything I'd been longing for. He was perfect and... I guess... I wasn't perfect for him. I know I am being dramatic because I might not have lost him yet but I feel empty and sad, and, looking around me at the busying people, I miss his eyes on me. I feel alone, like nobody ever notices me. I feel invisible.

"Mina?" Oh? Maybe not that invisible.