What am I to you? // Corpse Husband

18. Longing

Sunday 12.44am

I look down the corridor and, four yards away, I see a familiar figure which is what concerned him.

The man dressed in dark clothes, is standing there, still, his hands in his hoodie pockets.

Seeing his face after all this time, while he was on my mind constantly, not knowing if he was okay, I suddenly feel my heart racing.

"Mina?" He mumbles.

The expression on his face is shock and pain caused by betrayal, as his eyes switch from me to Seven. He swallows with difficulty and tilts his head nervously, his anger visibly rising.

"Stay behind." Seven says protectively.

"It's fine. I know him."

He looks back at me and my embarrassed expression is sufficient to tell him that it's... him.

"Are you sure?" He asks confused.

"Yeah. It's fine. You can go."

"I don't like this." He strokes my shoulder, completely ignoring our witness.

"I swear I'll be fine."

"You call me if you need anything okay?"

"I will." I say, tapping his forearm.

And then I turn to him. I only see him. My man. I can't breathe properly seeing him here. My palms are sweating and I can already feel my hands shaking nervously. Seven, looking intimidating from the top of his 185 cm, walks passed him who stares at me anxiously, before disappearing in the elevator.

I am so happy to see him, but I have a feeling it will not turn out to be the exciting reunion I was hoping for.

"I should go." He looks so angry and something tells me it's because he is misunderstanding the situation.

"What?!? You just got here." I say shakily.

"I don't... I... This was a mistake..." he says his fist hitting the walk next to him.

"Why? Come inside." I plead desperately. I don't want him to go. Not already.

"What's the fucking point?!" He shouts, unsettled.

"Ssshhhhhh!! It's late. Don't wake my neighbours please."

I walk out to him, grab his hand and pull him inside my apartment.

He's standing there, in front of me, as I turn around after shutting the door. I want to jump into his arms but I don't know why he has decided to come yet.

Looking sheepishly in his eyes, I see disappointment.

"I see you're well." He says coldly.

"I am, yes. You look well too."

"Why didn't you let me go just now? I don't have anything to say."

"Why did you come over in the first place then?"

"It doesn't matter. I didn't realise."

"You didn't realise what?" He looks at me bemused.

"That you were fucking someone else!!" He scoffs, dragging his fingers through his locks walking away towards the living area, as if he was trying to wear off the anger.

"You're jumping into conclusions." I say following him but keeping some distance.

"Ha! He kissed you in front of me! I'm not blind!!"

"He hugged me."

"Are you for real?!? He kissed you! I saw it."

"He kissed my forehead."

"Well..." He seems to think for a while as if replaying the moment in his head. "Well you two are obviously close. Didn't take you long to replace me."

"No!"

"What?" He seems confused.

"NO! You don't get to come to MY place at 1am, misunderstanding a FRIENDLY gesture and give ME a lecture on who CAN or CANNOT give me comfort when I've been worried SICK about you for the last THREE weeks with NO news!!!"

"Comfort..." He scoffs. "That's what you call it."

"What's your problem?! Did you come here to pull me out of my misery and tell me not to bother? To tell me that you don't want to be with me, that you don't want to be happy?!? Can you please be done with it then? Because I'm pretty tired and I don't like to be humoured."

My hands are shaking so hard I have to cross my arms to keep them still, except that now, my arms are shaking too.

"I..."

"That's fine. I got the message. You can go now." Fucking asshole.

"Wait wait wait. I'm not the one dating someone else the moment the other one needs time alone."

"You didn't need 'time alone'. I can deal with 'time alone'. You had to decide if you wanted me in your life and, seeing the silence treatment you generously offered, I was wondering if you'd ever come back to me."

"Oh so that's why your hunk leaves your place in the middle of the night?!?"He says waving at the door.

"You don't get to judge me. And he's a friend."

"The way he hugged you, kissed you..." He looks disgusted "...and nearly killed me with his stare, I don't think he sees it that way."

"He knows."

"What the fuck does he know?"

"He knows about you."

"What about me?"

"He know that I..." Shit... I can't say that. He's gonna freak out. I breathe in deeply but it's as if I lost all my composure and my big mouth. I face the other way, feeling so emotional that I want to curl into a ball on the floor and rock myself.

Shit. Shit. Shit!! I'm gonna cry in three seconds. I can tell.

"So?!? You what?"

I can't do this. He's so angry and I hear him rush closer, grabbing my arm and flipping me to face him. His angry face crumbles into pure sadness and worry when he sees my distraught face. I assume he can see the pain in my eyes and the tears rolling from them.

Both his hands reach to cup my cheeks, his eyes wandering, his breathing unsettled.

"What is it?" He asks softly. "Tell me please."

Uncrossing my arms, my hands wrap around his waist and I hold him tightly as his eyes haven't left mine.

"I... can't."

What if I say it and he doesn't feel the same way, or if I scare him? Do I really need to use words?!?

He leans his forehead against mine, his breathing deepening. Feeling him so close against me, his breath caressing my face like the soft summer wind I felt earlier tonight, his heart pounding in his chest the more I tighten my grip on his hoodie, I am overwhelmed.

"Kiss me." I whisper needfully, feeling my lips shaking.

He stares at me, so many questions shooting around his mind, so much pain and anger, so much longing and emotions.

He's torn. Why did he come? This whole thing with Seven distracted him from his task. He came to let me go for sure. I don't want him to let me go. I know I can be good for him. I just need him to let me.

I love him so much.