She starts fidgeting at her collar and eventually pulls out a necklace. My eyes widen as I recognise the pendant.
"You didn't..."
"Yes, I kept it!" Vic proudly smiles at me.
...
Marlena Rossi is an international Model, getting more and more famous...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
liked by yungblud and 584.041 others marlenarrr quarantine
...
The song is over, leaving me with a slight smile on my face. I can't help but let curiosity take over. My gaze leads to the side and I see what videos are proposed.
In first place it's the music video of the Finnish contestants, further down I see another music video of Måneskin. Torna a casa, that means "Come Back home", sounds more sentimental than "Zitti E Buoni". It has over 100 million views. My eyebrows twitch at that number.
"Not bad Vittoria." I mumble.
Automatically I klick on the thumbnail. This time no commercials play and immediately see walls of a castle and hear music playing.
It's a calm guitar as different shots of a castle and the backyard are shown. I have to say it sounds beautiful and kinda sad.
I watch a girl covered in white, transparent cloth appear. I look if it's Victoria but notice it's just somebody they booked for the video.
Cammino per la mia città dd il vento soffia forte Mi son lasciato tutto indietro e il sole all'orizzonte
First the singer appears again, now with long hair. A look at the date tells me the video got uploaded in 2018.
The next shot shows the light haired Thomas walking around the castle. A crooked smile appears on my face, I am now a hundred percent sure it's him.
After they show the woman-who turns out to be a ballerina-again, appears the drummer. Now a ponytail on his head and looking much younger, he walks through the halls too.
Che mi è rimasto un foglio in mano e mezza sigaretta
My whole body is covered in goosebumps as I see Victoria's profile a few shots later. She walks towards the camera. Her hair is shorter than in "Zitti E Buoni". She turns her head to the camera. I get a glance at her pretty eyes surrounded with make up. At one nostril sits a nose ring.
My hand covers my mouth. My mind goes back to the day we both watched videos of how to pierce yourself. She trusted me and let me pierce her nose, that was the night I brought up so much courage I kissed her for the first time.
I keep on watching still in sort of a trance because of how she looked.
Perché la vita, senza te, non può essere perfetta
Quindi Marlena torna a casa...
The rest of the text doesn't get to my ears. Another wave if chill go down my spine and I can't see clear anymore.
I slam the Mac shut and look around in my way too large hotel room. I let out a breath, I don't know I was holding and start to shiver. Tears block my sight and I pull my legs to my chest.
My chin rests on top of my knees as I uncontrollably sob, tears streaming down my face. That's the panic attack I felt building up the past days.
It takes 10 Minutes for me to calm my breathing and stop the tears. I have that much courage to open my MacBook again and let the music continue.
This time my eyes are closed and I concentrate on the lyrics.
-che il freddo qua si fa sentire Quindi Marlena torna a casa, che non voglio più aspettare Quindi Marlena torna a casa, che il freddo qua si fa sentire Quindi Marlena torna a casa, che ho paura di sparire
All I hear out of this amount of words is the "Marlena". I inhale one time heavily and open my eyes.
"Holy shit, FUCK!" I shout over the music.
A hand glides through my hair and I have to stand up. Now pacing around in my room only wearing underwear and a bralette, I don't listen to the video anymore but always think about the name, my name.
I know it's no coincidence.
My shaky hands reach for my phone and I search for Dominic's contact.
"Mar!"
"It's me." I say less excited.
"Dom, they used my name."
"What? What the fook are you talking about?"
"Måneskin. I watched an older video a-and-" I start to sob again as a tear leaves my eye.
"Calm down Marlena!"
"Don't say my name, please don't say it!"
"Baby..." he doesn't know how to respond.
"They sang it in an older song. It's part of the lyrics."
"Your name?"
"Yea." I snuffle loudly.
"Look M- love, don't let this eat you up. There is more important stuff going on."
"I know, I know." I sink to the floor.
"It's just this stupid anxiety killing me right now. In five minutes I'll be fine again."
Probably more like five hours but he understands. We hang up and I'm left alone sitting there on the ground, trying to catch myself again.
Her face is right in front of me. I try to shake my mind off of the thought but it stays there wherever I look or if I look at at all. She seizes my mind and I know, I'm not over her.
