Gently // jasper hale [Completed]

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It was the Friday before her wedding when Bella approached Jasper, her nerves running rampant. She wanted him to finish his story, she wanted to know everything about the girl she never got to meet. Daisy's story made her rethink her own mortality. She had a perfectly good life to live, yet she had been insistent of becoming a vampire. Now, with Daisy's untimely passing in mind, she had been discussing possible colleges with Edward.

"Jasper?" She called from outside of his room. A moment later the door opened, a tired looking Jasper stood in front of her. He had dark circles under his eyes, darker than usual, his hair was messier than she had ever seen it and she was fairly sure he was wearing the same outfit as he was a few days ago.

"Bella," he greeted her, sounding friendly enough, but he clearly didn't want the company right now. "Can I help you?"

She nodded timidly, and with a deep sigh he stood aside, allowing her into his room. She was immediately drawn to the hundreds of books lining the walls. Some seemed to be journals, wrapped in dark leather with well-worn spines, others were historical texts and strategy books. One bookshelf, beside a floor to ceiling window, was dedicated solely to classic novels, romances and poetry books.

Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes suddenly welling up.

Daisy's. All of those books were once Daisy's. Jasper had kept every single one, not just Sense and Sensibility.

"What do you need?" He shut the door, the sound snapping her out of her thoughts. He walked around her, taking a seat on the edge of a neatly made double bed she didn't notice before she was distracted.

"Why do you have a bed?" She couldn't help but ask. Vampires didn't sleep. Edward didn't have one until he met her, and she had been in Alice's room enough to know she didn't have one either.

"I got used to it. I'd lie with her every night. I felt weird sitting around with everyone else all night," he explained reluctantly. He didn't like people in his space, and with constant lovey-dovey feelings in the air, he was overwhelmed.

"Right," she muttered. "I was wondering... if you could finish telling me about Daisy?"

She was well-aware she may be coming off rude or pushy. Jasper bit back a dismissal, not wanting to upset his soon-to-be sister-in-law. He knows she just wanted to feel included; the rest of his family sadly had to live through the tragedy with him.

"Yeah," he said softy, his voice so quiet that Bella almost missed it. "Take a seat."

She hastily made her way across the room, pulling out his desk chair and plopping down, facing him. He still looked like his mind was far away, no doubt caught up in memories. There were a few minutes of awkward silence before she dared to speak again.

"Are you alright?"

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed. He was happy for his brother and Bella, truthfully. But he wanted what they had.

"It's not fair," his voice broke harshly. "This was meant to be us. Daisy and I were meant to get married, plan our future together. Spend forever together. Alice should have helped her pick out a dress, and Esme should have chosen flowers with her. I am happy for you both. I really am. But I've been robbed of this, and it breaks my heart. You're both so in love, it's suffocating. It's a constant reminder of what we should have had."

He took a deep, steadying breath before continuing, shifting is gaze from his clasped hands to lock eyes with Bella.

"I understood Edward when he went to the Volturi. The pain is so raw, so all-consuming. He couldn't bear to live without you, just like I can't seem to live without her. I promised her that I wouldn't try to end my suffering, and she knew I would never break a promise to her. But now I'm not really living at all. I'm stuck where I as when she died, mourning her, while everyone moves on around me."

Bella was fighting back tears. She couldn't imagine the pain he was in. Sure, Edward left her for months, and that was an unexplainable grief. But Jasper had to watch the woman he loved waste away while he was unable to do anything about it, then he had to bury her. No chance of her returning to him.

"It's okay," he consoled her. He could feel the guilt rolling off her, and her heartache. He didn't mean to upset her, but he needed to vent to someone an as soon as he started talking, he couldn't seem to stop. Everyone had been so busy recently that they seemed oblivious to his plight.

Jasper stood from the bed and walked over to her, kneeling in front of her and resting a strong hand on her knee. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. How about I finish the story, then you can have free pick of any of my books? Consider it an early wedding gift."

She made a noise of agreement, drying her eyes with the sleeve of her top.