fall from grace

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jordyn.

Desperately gasping for air, my eyes fly open with urgency.

The last place I expected to be was my bedroom. It's my space of comfort, my safe haven from the world, the place I go when everything's gone to shambles.

She wouldn't give me the upperhand of having a space I feel comfortable in. She's put me in the scene of the car accident, a tiny glass box, a desolate high school bathroom, any place that would bring me any remote discomfort. To put me in the familiarity of my bedroom is...new.

It's alarming honestly. What does she have in store for me tonight?

I hear shuffling downstairs. Things toppling over onto the floor. Low, sharp curses making their way out of somebody. Somebody I can't pinpoint without a face.

The door is pushed open with haste. I wish there was a light or something, just so I could make sure that I was completely positive about the sight in front of me. It chills me to my bones, the image I perceive. I'm staring at myself, well a more dead-looking version of myself, being held up by the one person I'm still deathly afraid of. Even in my nightmares.

Leo.

Why aren't I fighting him? Why am I not doing anything about him? His hands are on me. The first thing I'd do is slap the shit out of him. Or at least give him a mouth full of curses and screams until he relented. But here I just succumbed to him. Complacent to his will.

This truly is one fucked nightmare.

I make a move towards him, but I'm immediately stopped. I can't move. I can't speak above a whisper. It's almost as if I'm conscious here, but my body is there. Alongside mine. Limp and helpless.

I try to fight it. Trying to focus my movements on one finger and hoping that it'll eventually spur the rest of my body on to move towards Leo and push him away. But alas, I'm as immobile as the version of myself in front of me.

No, I'm not even that mobile. She's still able to walk on her own. With help of course, but it's still more than what I can manage.

He lies me down on the side of the bed closest to the door. That's my usual spot to curl up in when Beau's staying the night. Fuck, I won't be laying there for a while. I watch him go around to the foot of the bed to kick off his shoes. Leaving them discarded on the fluffy white carpet, he climbs into the mattress and starts moving towards my limp body.

Oh my god, this cannot be happening. No! I want to scream. I want to fucking shout my lungs out so that somebody, anybody, would come across my body and save me from this sick monster. In an effort to move, I muster all the strength I've got to throw myself forward. But it's not enough. I don't move a single inch.

Leo's back is facing me, obstructing my view of what he's doing to me. I see his hands moving and that's all. It doesn't take a genius to know what his intentions are. I'm half-asleep, unable to me, at my most vulnerable state. The perfect concoction for some fucked up shit to go down.

What I can see are my legs. Splayed out on the bed in front of me, they move around uncomfortably. They look heavy, they must feel heavy. Which is why their movements are few and far between.

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