The Choice (a Painful Past)

5

     The Lot was literally just Dairy Queen parking lot. The fast food place closed at 11:00 pm, but we weren't going for the food. I guess it was just one of those quirky things that some towns had. The Lot was always full of teenagers smoking weed, making out, drinking, or just hanging out. 

Dana, a girl from school that we hung out with sometimes, lived right behind the Lot, so when the cops would bust it up, we would just go to her place and hang out by the outside fire. Her parents never cared what she did or who came over. 

Hell, last year we went to a Key Club convention, for school, with her mom as the chaperone. We had a bathtub full of ice and alcohol, a constant supply of blunts to smoke, and 19- and 20-year-old guys in the room. Her mom ended up making out with the 20-year-old right in front of us. It was gross. She even gave Dana tips on how to perform a blowjob when she was locked in the bathroom with the 19-year-old. 

Needless to say, we got banned from any further conventions. 

I know most kids my age would probably like that kind of mom, but not me. I liked knowing that my mom cared enough about what happened to me, to put restrictions into place. I might not have always followed them, but at least I knew she cared about my wellbeing enough to make them. 

Sherri shrugged, as she took a huge bite of pizza. She was a little bigger than me, and I knew it bothered her, but neither of us tried to watch what we ate. Food was just too good. "We're gonna start there, but you know the cops will bust it up soon after. They never let us hang out for long. Dana is throwing a party tonight. She told me that she's gonna have a major blow out, with all the extras." 

I wasn't much for big parties, because I wasn't much for being around a lot of people. I tended to get overwhelmed pretty easily, because I was too self-conscious. I looked down at my plate of food and didn't say anything. 

"Oh, come on Cal!" Katherine exclaimed. "Don't do this tonight. Let's just all have a good time." I looked back up and met her gaze. "I didn't do anything," I replied, quietly. "Yeah, you did. You're already thinking of ways to bail. I can see your mind working overtime," she said, wryly. 

"It'll be fun, Callie!" Sherri said, reaching across the table to take my hand. "I promise. I won't leave your side. I know things like this make you nervous." I smiled at her, relieved that she still had my back like this. 

Sherri and I were born only 2 weeks and 1 day apart, with her being oldest. We had been best friends literally since birth. I hated to think that I had almost messed that up. "Okay, I'm in," I replied. 

"YAY!" Kat exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Hey girls, keep it down in there! I'm on the phone," Kat's mom yelled from her room in the back. "We weren't even that loud," Kat grumbled. "Come on, let's go to my room. If you're not finished eating, just bring the plates." 

I grabbed my last slice of pizza and a soda and followed them to her room. Sherri made sure to just bring the plate that she hadn't finished eating yet. They sat down on the bed, next to each other, leaving me the fluffy purple chair at her writing desk. It may have been called a writing desk, but she mainly used it for her makeup. Kat hated to write. 

"Did I tell you that Callie was flirting with Colby, the little 13-year-old that lives down the road?" Kat asked Sherri, giggling. "No, I wasn't!" I exclaimed. I didn't bother mentioning that he was 14, not 13. "I was just being nice." 

"Okay, right, so why was he carrying your bag for you? Did you promise him a kiss?" She laughed and started making kissy faces at me, complete with the sounds. "Oh my God, shut up," I laughed, before I tossed the little pillow that I was holding at her.  

"Nah, she likes em about her own age," Sherri said, then snapped her eyes up to meet my gaze. Kat and I both stopped laughing immediately. "I didn't mean- I mean, I wasn't talking about-" she stammered out. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything." But it was too late. 

I quieted down and retreated back into my own thoughts, while Sherr and Kat talked about what our night out might bring. "I think I'm going to get Mitch to ask me out," I heard Kat say. I glanced back over to see Kat doing Sherri's nails now, a dark shimmery blue. 

I looked down at the purple ones she had given me. I couldn't help comparing the situation and thinking about how I didn't even get a choice in colors. 

"Please, that shouldn't be hard at all!" Sherri exclaimed. I saw her glance at me, but I looked away quickly. She was the only one who knew about my crush on him. I had made her promise not to tell because I knew that he liked Katherine. 

"Probably not," Kat laughed. "I'll probably have his tongue in my mouth, as soon as we step out of his car." "You're gross," Sherri laughed. "Whatever! It's not like you guys haven't kissed anyone. You know how it works," Kat replied. "Still doesn't mean that I wanna go around thinking about the fact that it involves swapping spit with another person," Sherri said, then made a gagging noise. "You are such a child," Kat laughed. "Besides, we've all done plenty more than that, right? I bet Cal is a profession BJ giver after dating Kris last year." She looked at me and smiled, mischievously. 

"Not even," I replied, looking out the window. "We only ever kissed. I mean, he tried to go up my shirt, but I didn't let him." I didn't like the fact that she thought I had already done these things. I would have told her if I had. Maybe not this year, but last year, definitely. 

"Why?" she asked, confusion evident in her tone. "I mean, you did way more with Jason in middle school. You told me so." I shrugged, wanting her to change the subject and get the attention off of me. I had done things with Jason that I wasn't really proud of. I was just sexually curious. I didn't have sex with him, but I did let him do other things to me. Now, I wished that I had waited.